In the crisp morning I their Demon hound howl in the backyard. What an annoyance that I'll have to be here longer than I thought. Ceil will now want me around, either that or he'll reject my presence. As I approach the closet and pick out a crisp black gown, there is a light knock at the door.

"Come in" I say unafraid

"Sorry to disturb you Lady Caitlin, but the Master requests your presence" calls Sebastian


I nod and he takes his leave. Such a handsome man, too handsome to be human. Behind that mask of humanity stands a Demon who made a deal. A deal I intend to break apart at the seams. As I leave my room, Sebastian is waiting for me in the hallway. I should have guessed it, Ceil sent him to fetch me and he intends to do his job thoroughly. What a loyal, yet stupid gesture. As we glide down the elegant halls of the Phatomhive manor, I start to think maybe I could change my fate, maybe.........

"We've arrived Lady Caitlin" spoke Sebastian snapping me out of my trance

"Thank you Sebastian" I reply


I walk inside excited, why am I excited? I never get excited anymore, not after the tragedy that is my life. As I walk in Ceil is waiting for me at his desk.

"Good morning Lord Phantomhive" I say

"Please call me Ceil, and a good morning it is Lady Caitlin" he answers with a genuine smile

I blush and smile, wait a minute I never flirt. NEVER do I flirt, not after my beloved Peeta.

"Call me Cait, Ceil" I answer

"Cait what a peculiar nickname?" answered Ceil

"It's what my friends and family used to call me Ceil" I stated politely

"Used to call you........"

"Why did they used to call me this, because their all dead" I finish


I decided, I don't know why I did but I told him my tragedy I call a life. When i was finished a look of horror appeared on his face. Of course I didn't tell him I was from the future, that is a secret meant to be kept. What he said after the shocked look disappeared, shocked me

"You poor girl, your life is almost as bad as mine is, can I do anything to help you?"

"No I don't need help, what I did to cope was harden my heart so I couldn't get hurt again by caring about anything, but since I've met you it's proving to be harder than I thought" I stated calmly


I couldn't believe my eyes, he blushed. After this I ran from the room to the garden. Ceil called out for me, but I ignored his calls. How could my feelings get in the way of another mission? Then I remember my final vision from Peeta, it had been me and Ceil. Was it God's way of telling me to move on? I don't know, but I don't intend to find out.


He finds me crying in the garden, I turn away from him. Then he steps closer, so I use fire to send him back.

"What are you Cait?" he asks unshaken

"Show me please Cait, I'm not afraid" was his only reply


That's when I fainted. I awoke to his maid dabbing my forehead with a wet cloth. Ceil rose from the chair in the corner and smiled. I took it as thank goodness your ok. As he walks over I get jittery, why I have no idea, why I got jittery. His kisses my forehead and tells me to

"Rest Cait, I'll send for you in the morning"

"The Master has taken to you very quickly" said his maid after he had disappeared through the door.

"I think I feel the same, but he is betrothed and I can't interfere" I answered the kind maid

"Very true, Goodnight young mistress" answered the maid

All night I pondered my feelings for Ceil. If he had the same for me, this was bad once Shadowhunters fall in love it's usually for life. So I'm doomed, to never have happiness. As the sun arises I dress, but differently from my usual black. As I walk into the drawing room Ceil looks surprised, I was wearing a royal blue gown of my own design. His reaction was

"What lovely gown Cait."

"I made it myself Ceil, do you really like it?" I gushed

"Yes it brings out your lovely blue eyes" he replies

"Why thank you Ceil, but you really shouldn't be doing this" I state

"Doing what?" he asks

"Flirting with me when your betrothed to another" I answer plainly


Now I've done it I think to myself. I trust him with my secret and then tell him my life, now he's going to hate me. So I decided either to flee Phantomhive Manor or confess my feelings to the young lord. What a coward I am making choices, ruining others lives for my own gain. I'm despicable, how can anyone or any thing love a creature like me.

"Elizabeth may be my betrothed, but that doesn't mean I love her" was his long thought out reply

"Well even if you do love me, we can never truly be together, I am too different from you." I replied

"How are we that different if I may ask you?" he retorted

"Your a mere human, where as I'm much more" I muttered

"What do you mean Cait, your not .........."

"No I'm only half human and the other half I cannot share, with anyone until I wed, or I'm at deaths door" I finished and explained

He looks at me yet again shocked, this time beyond belief. I walk over and whisper in his ear

" I was not sent to hurt you, I am a wanderer, my tragic life never compels anyone to stay in my company for too long"

"I'll leave you now Lord Phantomhive and I shall never return, Goodbye my love" I whispered as I walked out leaving him in his shock.


I run to my room in tears and despair. I can never find happiness, it always seems to slip through my fingers. As I pack my things there is a knock at my door, I ignore it packing faster. The knocking keeps getting louder and harder to ignore. I finish packing and jump out the second story window, just like Simon's father Jace does. I've lost so many loves, my heart cannot take much more. My list of heartbreak goes on forever Peeta, Simon and now to add Ceil. He bursts into my room as I jump. Then watches me plummet to what he thinks is my death, as a Shadowhunter I've jumped from much higher places than this. It was more like jumping 2 inches rather than 6 feet. Sebastian looks down in awe as well as Ceil. He must think I'm one of his kind, then I remembered my mission to server their bond. Well that wasn't working out very well.

"Caaaaaaiiiiiiiittttttttttttt" screamed Ceil as I rushed toward the ground

I landed with a thud, on my feet unharmed. Then just as Ceil was about to give Sebastian a command, I stopped no I couldn't leave another behind. I jumped up to the sill of the window and said

"I couldn't leave you Ceil, I love you. I'll explain everything tomorrow now you must go"

I get a shocked nod in reply. Sebastian stays behind and just stares, Ceil tugs at his sleeve and they stride out the door together. I'm now exhausted, emotions are such a tiresome and trivial thing. Love can make or break us all at one point or another. My feelings for Ceil are just a minor setback, yet now I don't want to fulfill my mission. It is a giant risk trying to sever the bond between a human and a demon, it could kill on or both of them. Trust me I know that's how my Simon died, I watched him go through unspeakable agony and I wasn't able to do anything except sit by and watch.

I don't want Ceil to suffer the same way. In distress I never looked for comfort, I always looked for something I could take my feelings out on. Today that would be, the brick wall in my room, as I repeatedly hit the wall, a knock comes at the door.

“Who’s there?” I call

“Sebastian, Milady” called Ceil’s loyal demon butler

“Enter and state your business” I call

He strides into the room, in his usual black tailcoat and a smirk on his face.

“May I ask how a noble lady like yourself is able to jump such great distances?”

“You can certainly ask you just may not get an answer. I know you’re a Demon, by the way you may want to do a better job of hiding it” I retort and smirk right back at him


He stands there looking flustered and then smiles, bows and takes his leave. My cover was now blown for sure. Ah well I guess I’m going to have to do this the hard way.