Not So Funny Girl | Teen Ink

Not So Funny Girl

May 28, 2013
By derekgaga24 BRONZE, Holbrook, Massachusetts
derekgaga24 BRONZE, Holbrook, Massachusetts
1 article 0 photos 0 comments

“My life is perfect. I have the best boyfriend, I have the best-est friend, Kurt Hummel, I go to the best school, NYADA (New York Academy of Dramatic Arts), And live in the best city, New York. Kurt and I have been best friends since junior year, because in sophomore year we hated each other. Thats okay because now he is my bbgff (bestest best guy friend forever.) My boyfriend, Finn Hudson, recently joined the army. he said something about redeeming his father, who died in action. I hope that doesn't mean he wants to die like his father. I haven’t talked to him since. I miss him so much. Anyway, what i am trying to say is that i'm Rachel Berry and I...”
“Rachel! what are you doing?” Kurt said interrupting.
“I thought i was saying this in my head. whoops!” We both started laughing.
“Now that i have your attention, you know how you always wanted to audition for the musical, Funny Girl?” Kurt questioned me as if i didn't already know
“Honey, if i had a dollar for every time auditioning for Funny Girl crossed through my mind, I would have exactly one dollar because it doesn't ever leave my mind.” I made sure that Kurt knew, But i Didn't have to because we know each other like the back of our hands.
“Well they’re having open auditions for anyone 18 and older to be on actual broadway, not like a school musical, but broadway!” My heart skipped a beat. Is this real life? Am I dreaming? I pinched myself to make sure. i’ve basically lived for this day. I was practically born to play Fanny Bryce, man i was practicing when i was in my mothers womb. Barbara Streisand is my idol. She’s my hero. She is the mom i never had. Because i was blessed with two dads instead of a mom and a dad, i would pretend that barbara was my mother. I would talk to her, eat with her,even play dolls with her(she was a poster). I would turn to her for everything, like when i was being severely bullied from everyone at school, I would talk to her. talking to her would be the highlight of my day. Being Fanny Bryce would make me a huge step closer to becoming the next Barbara Streisand.
“Rachel? Hello?” Kurt snapping at me. Reality caught up to me.
“When?!” i jumped towards him
“Tomorrow” Kurt stated. The next day, I was super nervous. It felt like I was going to throw up. At the same time, I was ready. I sang “don't rain on my parade” because you know, Barbara. The judges looked at me with awe.
“We’ll call you back”. The next morning i woke up really early to wait for the call back. RRRRRRRRRRRRRIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNNNNNGGGGGGGGGG went my phone. “H-h-hell-lo?” I stumbled. Kurt was acting like an excited puppy right next to me. I dropped my phone.
“Did you get it?!” Kurt anxiously shouted.
“Yes!” We both went nuts of excitement and happiness.Fanny Bryce here i come. I slept well that night. I went to sleep knowing my hopes and dreams are coming true. I woke up the next morning to get ready for school.
“Don't tell kassidy July, the dance teacher.” Kurt warned me. My first period was dance. I told someone when Kassidy July overheard me.
“So Fanny Bryce, huh?” said Kassidy slyly.
“Yeah” I said, almost with an attitude.
“I warn you, don't do it”
“Whatever.” I ignored it.
“Rachel Berry to the main office please.” my heart skipped a beat, but in a bad way.
“Rachel, i'm afraid I found a switchblade in your pocket.”
“What? i don't even own one!”
“I’m afraid i'm going to have to suspend you.” I cried the whole time home. I would never do that. I went home and saw Kurt. He gave me a death stare.
“I’m not talking to you” said Kurt. I didn't want to start anything, so i just went in my room. I tried to reach Finn because hes the only one i got.
“Hello?” i heard a very familiar voice.
“Finn?”
“yes”
“Finn, its Rachel. I need to talk to you. I got suspended from school and Kurt won't talk to me and... hey i just found a note” I read the note. Apparently there is a “Fanny Bryce Curse”. it happened to Barbara, but she made it through.
“Look Rachel, said Finn.”We need to break up. I love you and all, but I can't do this anymore” Finn hung up. I’m alone. I have nothing. I then thought of something. I have a choice. Its either I keep the role and lose everything, or I discharge it and keep my friends, boyfriend, and school. “I wish there was an easy way out” i said to myself. Thats when I heard a gunshot and no resolution to the choice...


The author's comments:
In class, we were assigned to create a short story. my obession with glee over came me so thats what i wrote about.

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