Shrugging it off and not thinking too much into it I walked back into my room and into my bathroom. I made up my eyes to look like a cat’s eye, green eyes dartingly striking. Smiling to myself in the mirror I looked down to find my cat around my feet. I laughed and picked her up.

“Hello my dear,” I smiled down at my cat scratching behind her ears as she purred. “I’m excited for this date Bella; I just hope he doesn’t turn out to be a douche like the last guy.”

Boy was he a story. Seemed so sweet in the beginning and yet in the end he was a soul sucking, heart breaking, tear jerking ass. I would never be able to look at him the same. What was worse is that he was my first, I trusted him with something that he took willingly, knowing what it meant to me. Before him I wasn’t like this, dark, emo if you will, girl. I was a simple Christian girl with all the right things going for her. But after meeting Josh and dating him for about two years, I had changed into what I am today. He had changed me into his perfect girl then left me in the deep darkness he embellished in. To say I never look back and that everything with him was a lie, would be a lie. There were many sentimental moments with him that really did put me to tears thinking about. Though, I do believe that that was his game, and as unfair as it was, he won with everything on his side.

I put down my cat and smiled as she ran off after some imaginary bug, then turned to my phone. Sterling had texted me four times already and I just giggled. Most of his texts were things like “I cnt wait 2 c u” and such, it was nice to finally have another guy interested in me. I pulled on some of my favorite combat boots and headed down stairs to my car. Ole’ Bertice, my 1969 Voltzwaggon Bug, had never let me down. She was black and blue my two favorite colors and had all the same interior as she first did when she was built. I turned the key in the ignition and she purred to life, flipping on the radio I pulled out of my parking spot on the road and revved off.

I was in a trance while driving; it’s a park that I’ve basically lived at for the past three years. I wasn’t paying much attention to the road; nobody was really out today for some reason. It was a Saturday so you would think that people would be out doing things but I guess not. There was a tingling where the hem of the dress sat on my legs, I simply brushed it off not thinking much about it and continued driving. Yet the tingling didn’t stop. Infact, it only got worse and spread past my legs and into my chest. I couldn’t explain what was happening, but all of a sudden I had tunnel vision. Hot tears ran down my cheeks ruining my makeup and destroying all happiness. I was confused, I was perfectly happy until I started driving; no memories were coming to me.

I arrived at the park and sat in my car, not knowing what to expect. I looked outside, Sterling was waiting for me, I tried to smile but I couldn’t force the muscles in my face to move. It was like I was in a permanent frown. Something was off, and it wasn’t because of the memories that I had with Josh here, those were long forgotten.



Something about this dress has changed.




And it’s changed me.