Rushes of visions were suddenly flying in my mind. I tried to sort through them, putting them in order from first to most recent, but it was useless. When I reached the vision I was looking for I was sitting at a black table in the middle of a class room, I looked over to the other side of the table where my neighbor should have been, and saw a colorless fist that was clenched tightly on the table top, and nothing more. The next vision was of me slumped over on a side walk, while a voice that sounded like the most beautiful piece of velvet called my name from a distance. Another vision showed me curled up in my little bed, but someone’s cold arm was wrapped around me, their lips in my hair.
Could those visions have had the vampire boy in them? Was it him who called my name, him who had his arm wrapped possessively around my small frame, him who brushed his cold lips to my wet hair? I could only hope. NO! I shouldn’t hope! Not for him, not ever. What is it about this vampire that has me wanting to know him?
Even if I denied it, I still knew the truth. He was the most beautiful creature I had ever seen, the most beautiful creature I would ever see, and he would be mine, he had to be. No! Stop it! I shouldn’t feel this way about a boy, a vampire boy, who I know nothing about. That is what I kept telling myself anyway. I did know him, in a way. I trusted him enough to allow him to wrap his arm around me, didn’t I? At that point I must be very friendly with him, friendly enough to let him in my room. I must have gotten to know him quite well, considering I hardly even let Renée and Charlie come in my room.
My bedroom was the one place I always felt at home in. The very room itself had not been the same throughout my too long life, but the things inside it were. The old rocker, the timeless bed, the classic cedar chest. Little things place around my room gave me little reminders of happy times, although I couldn’t recall any happier times than the one I was in now. In my three centuries of life, for the first time, I felt happiness. True happiness, the kind that makes your insides melt into even more happiness. I shouldn’t hope, it was all too dangerous.
If I ever let this boy get to know me, I could never tell him what I was. If he ever ran into Aro, he would know everything about me, about what I could do. The Volturi already know too much about me, they know about too many of my abilities. They want me to be one of them, a vampire. I heard from one of Renée’s ‘good’ friends that they even offered me a place at the thrown, that Aro was so desperate to have me that he would “get rid” of Marcus or Caius, or both of them, for me alone. I didn’t want any part of that. I know from others that nothing well ever came out of the Volturi. Of course, they play an important role of keeping the mythical world inconspicuous, so they are necessary to an extent.
Aren’t relationships suppose to be based on trust? Another reason we could never be together, because I don’t trust anyone. For all I know, the little vampire boy could be working for the Volturi, that was my theory. When I ran from him in the woods I didn’t even think to cover my scent, he could have followed my scent, he could be right outside on my balcony while I sit in this little rocker completely unaware. Well, I’m not clueless anymore. If he tries one move he’ll be dead, officially dead.
Vampires are strong, I would know that better than anyone, but I was stronger. When I was fully developed Charlie decided to run a few tests to check my abilities. One of the tests was to see just how strong I was, I was stronger than Renée and Charlie combined, I only lacked skill. I no longer lack skill, I lack nothing that will keep him alive. I was at a disadvantage, not being able to read his mind, but that doesn’t give me a reason to lay down and let him do what ever he pleases. A couple of what I consider my cousins, vampire cousins, the closest thing I have to friends, Mason and Casey, were bribed in some way by Charlie to teach me how to fight. I was stronger than them but the taught me some technique that might come in handy someday.
Amazing. When I first sat down tonight I was practically in love with the little vampire, he was my little vampire; but in a matter of minutes he was my enemy, someone I wanted to avoid at all costs, and destroy if it comes to it. I never liked physical violence, but I understood that it was necessary in some cases, and this may be one of them. I would have no choice but to kill him, I must protect my family at all costs, and that is exactly what I plan to do.
I got up from the chair and felt instantly much more tired than I was when I had first sat down. I made my way over to the dresser and pulled out a set of clean pajamas and headed across the hall to the bathroom. Since I didn’t have to share a bathroom with anyone, I already put all of my toiletries in their proper places. I took a nice cold shower, washing my hair with the strawberry shampoo made me think of washing all my problems down the drain.
After I dried off quickly, and took the extra time to blow dry my hair. My hair had a slight natural curl to it, which tended to frizz when not blow dried. I got into the pajamas quicker than usual, eager to see what my next vision would be, and whom would be in it. Would it be me? The strange vampire stalker? Or… maybe both of us? My visions normally shifted quite suddenly after figuring out something important, and I had definitely solved an important piece of the puzzle tonight.
I turned out the little bedside lamp, turned on the sound system to a classical radio station, and snuggled up under the thick quilt. It was a very cold outside, and it was chilly in the house too. Renée had probably not even thought to check the thermostat, but I was too upset and tired to go tend to it myself. All I wanted to do was put an end to this mystery, to know what was next.
I had never wanted a vision to come so much, it was a new feeling to me. I usually dreaded visions because it was always a lot to process once I woke up, and I never got enough quiet time at school to think it through there. I had a strange feeling this next dream was going to need at least a whole day to be figured out, but then again I may not see anything at all.
School…another thing I always dreaded. Why am I going to sleep? Why would I want to be wide awake for the worst day yet? Oh, because of the vision. I always hated the first day the most because that’s the day everyone stares the most. Regardless of the day, the students and teachers always marvel over my perfection, wishing they were me. When the girls and boys look at me they all let out a longing filled sigh; the girls wished to be me, and the guys wanted me to be there’s. Neither boy nor girl would want me if they knew what I was, that I was not just some beautiful girl that happened to move to their little green house of a town.
The first day would be worse that the others due to the small population. The boys would drool over a purple elephant if they had never seen it before, they would definitely all be thinking incoherent thoughts tomorrow, I felt bad for them in a way. For some reason I always seemed to make everyone, especially the girls, hit on their self esteem. A couple years ago, a girl who in my opinion was far better looking than me, hung herself because her boyfriend broke up with her to ask me out, which I turned down immediately. The boy didn’t even seem to care that she committed suicide because of him, he only had one thing on his mind, me.
Some of the girls will probably try to be friends with me, for the popularity of course. I never did see what they saw when I looked in the mirror. I saw a pale, average looking girl who had the most boring life imaginable. I wish that I could see what they were all going on about. I looked across the darkened room to check the time on the old digital clock, it read 11:46 p.m. I decided to put the thoughts of my self loathing away for a while so I could get some rest, but I knew it would pick up again when the alarm clock goes off at 7:15 tomorrow morning.
I had never liked sleep. I always felt that I could be doing something far more important with my time, besides, I hardly ever saw anything worth wasting my time on in my visions anyway. The typical vision consists of the tedious events of the following day, such as getting ready for school, rolling a bottle of nasty pink lemonade on the lunch table I sit at alone, or doing homework on a subject I already hold several college degrees in.
It’s always the same old same old, with never anything new. When I get lucky enough to stumble across a new subject I find myself examine it so closely, too closely because I have lack of other things to do.
My real passion lied in medicine. Medicine is always changing and evolving into something more fascinating, it’s hardly ever the same. Every patient needs a specific amount, a different amount than the last patient. New medicine is being discovered everyday, or old medicine is made more effective. Medicine never stays the same like life, which is why I enjoy breaking down each and every bit of the world of medicine. Medicine is my only friend, it does not judge me like everyone else does.
I knew it was inevitable that I sleep, so decided to shut out all of my self hatred once again. Tomorrow would be a terrible day, possibly the worst day of my life, so I should be wide awake so I can remember each dreadful moment perfectly. That’s the spirit! I closed my eyes and got lost in a familiar classical piece- “Moonlight Serenade”, a favorite of mine by G. Miller. I slowly and unwillingly drifted off into a fitful sleep, triggering the dreams and visions that lie ahead to come to life like a scene from “Romeo and Juliet” being played out on stage.
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