Cold Days | Teen Ink

Cold Days

December 20, 2021
By Anonymous

Winter sun streamed through the window, warming the attic and gently waking Niki. She sat up, rubbing away sleep. As she scanned the attic room, she noticed her bedside table with a plate of fluffy biscuits and a note on top. She smiled, grabbed a biscuit, and read.

Thought you may need a little boost this morning - come downstairs for tea when you're ready.

Niki exhaled contentedly. There was nothing better than Phil’s homemade biscuits in the morning, and on this day, she would need them. And at the thought of warm tea waiting for her downstairs she hurriedly stretched, but soon noticed the empty bed across from her. It was neatly made, almost as if no one had ever slept in it, but Niki knew better than that. It belonged to Thor, her friend, who would usually return late at night, too exhausted from his adventures to properly prepare for bed. But last night hadn’t been one of those nights. In fact, he had retired early to his room, which doubled as hers as well. And that could only mean one thing.

Niki quickly descended the ladder rungs to the ground floor where Phil was waiting. He greeted her in the parlor with a smile and an outstretched mug. “Good morning, Niki! Were the biscuits good?”

“Oh yes,” Niki said, accepting the mug of tea. “Thor wasn’t kidding -- you do make the best biscuits.”

“No, he wasn’t. Speaking of which, he should be back soon.”

Though Niki didn’t reply, she instinctively looked out the window towards the snow-covered prairie. The three of them lived in the middle of the tundra, away from all the cities and towns that had cast them out. Niki had left her home a few months ago after her country’s entire government collapsed and she no longer saw that place as a home. Thor the soldier was here long before that, after he was deemed “too dangerous” to live in any functioning society. And though Phil could be described as a model citizen by Niki’s standards, he’s quoted multiple times that those societies were never worth the trouble of trying to fit into. So here they were, all misfits, with separate paths that somehow converged here, in the most inhospitable setting ever created.

Phil followed her gaze, which landed on the fence that poked out from the two-foot snow blanket that surrounded their Tudor-style house. He sighed.

“Thor has always bit off more than he can chew - it’s a wonder he’s lasted so long.”

“It’s not a wonder to me -- he has you as a mentor.”

“Maybe so, but listening isn’t his strongest trait, especially when it comes to my opinion. I just wish he would have let me come with him.”

“Thor will be fine,” a different voice suddenly floated in. “They’ve got nothing on him.”

Niki snapped her head around to the source of that voice. She suddenly realized that the door to the house was open, and within it’s threshold stood a person she had almost forgotten about. The outsider was slightly hunched over in a puffy winter coat, which was far too large for his thin frail body. He had two layers of clothing on below the coat, but judging by how his limbs shook, it wasn’t enough. Phil welcomed him in hastily before shutting the door behind him. Niki didn’t move.

“You’ll catch a cold out there!” Phil said as moved to grab another mug from across the room.

The outsider shrugged. “I’ve been in worse.”

“I’m sure you have,” Niki murmured back, just enough to make the outsider look at her, which she instantly regretted. The person sitting in her home was barely the man she used to know -- once a powerful combatant, now shivering under three layers of warmth. His usual bright and determined eyes were a dull gray as he stared at her carefully through his long shaggy locks, as if he wasn’t quite sure of what to make of her. And his once intimidating and commanding voice was as rough as sandpaper, sounding almost as bad as it probably felt. Phil glanced uneasily between the two, but before he could say a word, the doors he had just closed swung open.

“Heh, nice of you all to gather for my arrival,” a thundering voice greeted them, “How about we catch up over tea?”

“Thor!” Both Niki and Phil exclaimed. Niki ran to embrace him at once, pulling him into a hug while Phil and Thor warmly touched foreheads together. It had been so long since they had embraced each other.

When they released each other, Niki searched Thor’s face. His familiar chiseled features were ones she had gotten used to over the months, along with the several scars that he had collected from over the years. A breath of relief escaped from her as she realized that there were no more additions, but she knew better than to assume that he had gotten out of this unscathed.

“Are you okay? Are you hurt at all?” Niki said as she began fretting over him, taking him by the shoulders to search for any injuries.

Thor chuckled at her obvious concern. “I’m fine, Niki. There’s nothing they could throw at me that would slow me down.”

“You can say that again,” the outsider piped up, with more spirit in his tone than before, “You showed those prison guards who’s boss.”

Thor grinned at him. “I suppose our guest is making himself at home? And not causing any trouble?”

“I’m not sure how much trouble Drew could cause in this state,” Phil said to Thor, “They really did a number on him.”

Niki held her tongue at Phil’s observation. She couldn’t fathom how they could look at Drew and not throw up in their mouths. But she supposed that they didn’t know him as she did. She could still remember seeing Drew as he stood upon a podium just months ago, looking down at her suffering people with a mocking sneer on his face. He was known for his skill in battle as much as his influence over people, and that’s what helped him become their leader in their time of need. But because of the disastrous end of his leadership, her people hunted him down and placed him within the most secure and brutal holding they could find. That was four months ago; a week ago, though, was when the commune started receiving letters from his spies about the horrid conditions and treatment he suffered, which details were enough to keep even Niki awake at night. Finally Thor had decided to do something about it, and after confirming the truth behind his letters, they hatched a plan to free Drew before it was too late. Only last night was Thor able to sneak him out, but when they returned, her friend immediately went to bed. That’s what Phil calls ‘the calm before the storm’: Thor’s restful sleep before a day of revenge. And not even Niki could convince him to save his energy.

Niki took Thor’s red covering from his shoulders. “So it went well?”

“Oh, yes. For me, at least. I left those guards alive, but I wouldn't want to be them after the mess I had made of their precious penitentiary.”

Phil shook his head. “I still wish you would have let one of us come with you. Imagine if you had been caught?”

“And imagine if one of you had been caught? None of you could survive their punishments if you had been captured. I at least had a chance at escaping.”

“Way to lay it on us that we’re weak.” Phil rolled his eyes at his friend.

Thor’s eyes, though, remained serious. “I mean it, Phil. Just look at what they did to Drew. We may be warriors, but so was he.” 

Despite the weight in his words and the shy look Drew gave them when they glanced at his wounds and scars, Niki didn’t hold any compassion in her voice when she commented: “How the mighty have fallen.” Now all eyes were on her, though she avoided them all. She knew that her friends were probably exchanging glances now, but she didn’t care. Drew deserved no pity from her. She might not condone the treatment he received, but that didn’t make him a saint, either. And she would hold onto that notion until she breathed her last.

“Um, Niki,” Thor finally broke the silence, “take care of the animals with me?”

Niki allowed for only a moment of strained silence to remain before replying, “Fine.” She headed out through the front doors, brushing past the boys without hesitation as she stormed off into the cold.

It wasn’t long until Thor had joined her by the dog den. Their pets greeted his arrival warmly, but Niki didn’t acknowledge his presence. Instead she busied herself with chores, throwing the week’s catch into their pens and refilling their basins while Thor changed out their hay and blankets. Through it all neither spoke, only using the familiar routine to maneuver around each other effortlessly. And after all was taken care of, it was halfway to midday.

After they finished, Niki headed off to the horse stables with Thor close behind. When she noted the filled dishes and fresh hay, she slipped into her steed’s pen and snagged a brush out of the crate by the back wall. The rhythmic movement of the brushing brought on a calm over Niki, enough to get her to finally say: “What do you want?”

Thor was standing by the door of the pen she was in, leaning against it silently. “I feel like there’s something you want to say first.”

Niki continued brushing, retorting, “You know exactly what I have to say.”

Thor didn’t hesitate. “Niki, I understand you have your resentments towards Drew. But holding it against him while he’s healing and we’re on edge isn’t going to help anyone.”

Instead of turning to him, Niki continued to detangle her horse’s mane. She dryly replied back, “Not sure if bringing him back here is going to help us, either.”

Thor stopped leaning on the pen door. Crossing his arms, he said, “Do you think that Phil only welcomed us here for his own benefit?”

Niki paused in her brushing, but then moved to put her tool away. Once she knelt down beside the crate she began shifting through it for a coat for her mare. “Phil has nothing to do with this,” she responded carefully.

“Actually, he has a lot to do with this. You know very well that Phil welcomed us in because he knew we had nowhere else to go. Drew has very few options, too.”

“He has his allies: he’s not like us, and there’s no reason why he should stay here.”

“Actually, he’s just like the rest of us. He-”

Niki slammed the crate down in front of her, causing her horse to jump and voice up a surprised bray. Niki spun around to face Thor and snarled, “Don’t you dare compare me to that murderer. That convict is the reason I’m here at all. I lost my family because of him, and you think I’m going to welcome him in with open arms?”

Thor blinked at her in surprise. “You’ve never mentioned your family before.”

For a moment Niki was frozen, but she quickly recovered and approached her horse again to smooth her dark brown snout with her hand. She slowly continued, “I have my reasons to keep my distance from that manipulator. I don’t care what he’s been through, or what he’s running from. He’s nothing but a coward that’s run out of options.”

From the corner of her eye, Niki could see Thor’s eyebrows pull flat over the bridge of his nose as he looked at her. Eventually, he said, “Your nation fell because of him, no?”

Niki didn’t reply. She began to fiddle with her horse’s mane now, hoping that this conversation would just stop.

“Niki, you know you can tell us anything. We all have things to carry, but take it from a dishonorably discharged soldier who used violence as a way to cope: it’s better when you share the burden with someone else instead of drowning in it on your own.”

Niki stopped. She clenched her fists against her mare’s mane, turning her knuckles white while her throat closed up. This wasn’t how she had wanted the day to go.

Finally, after what felt like an eternity, Thor sighed. “Look, I know it’s hard to talk about the past. But know that you have two people in your corner who care for you, and don’t want to see you in pain. You can tell us as much or as little as you want. But you don’t need to rush if you’re not ready.”

Niki didn’t respond. After a few more seconds passed, she heard him start to shuffle his way back through the snow. But she didn’t let him get far.

“It’s not that I’m not ready,” she blurted out with a shaky voice, “It’s that I’ve been ready for a long time, but I don’t want to be.”

She could feel her heart begin to beat faster. The cold air was making her throat achy, but she couldn’t stop now. Her dam was breaking.

“I had to watch my country crumble in front of me, Thor, and I couldn’t do anything about it. I didn’t have the strength, the knowledge, or the support of anyone to do anything. What are you supposed to do when your home is falling apart? Sit and watch? Cry? I didn’t know anything, and still feel as helpless as I did then. I hated it all -- how I knew what the problem was, but didn’t have the strength to do anything about it. My own family ripped each other apart over what they thought needed to be done. I had to choose a side! I had to watch half of my family turn their backs on us for what we believed in and watch the others try to coax me to follow them. To follow him. He’s the reason it all happened. He tore my nation apart from the inside, and laughed as it happened. And now he’s living with us? The monster who made a useless child run away from her home -- what kind of a person does that?”

The tears were falling quickly now, streaking down Niki’s red face as she felt all of her bottled up emotions come out at once. Grief, anger, hate -- not just for Drew -- but it hardly mattered anymore. Thor now knew who she really was: not the tough loner she had hoped to be, but an emotional child who still cried for her family at night. But before she could collapse onto the ground, strong arms embraced her firmly. 

Though she couldn’t see through her muddled vision, Thor’s gentle voice murmured from behind her back. “You’re not weak -- you’re strong, intelligent, and brave, and for several reasons. For one, you saw what was happening when others couldn’t. You didn’t let others sway you into believing what you weren’t sure about. And finally, you took action to do what's best for you. Sometimes that’s all you can do. You are not responsible for what happened, and you’re definitely not a coward -- you are Niki: a warrior, a freedom-fighter, and our friend. And I’m so glad you're here with us.”

Niki didn’t know how to respond, but Thor didn’t demand a response, either. He only held her, keeping her close as she crumbled into his arms, painful sobs shaking her entire body like a leaf in a snowstorm. Outside, white flakes were starting to float down from the heavens, some finding a home on Niki’s brown cloak while others dotted Thor’s crimson mantle. But many found a place on the windows of the Tudor house, which Drew was looking out of at that moment. He was watching the scene between his savior and the child play out. And when all the words seemed to have been said, he withdrew from the window, wondering why of all times for him to cry was now.


The author's comments:

This is a piece based off a story that I've been following for months. My characters are based off of some of the ones in the story, but it's an alternate storyline. Hope you enjoy!


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