Setting: Poetry hole.

Idea: Comedic but with a deeper meaning. More comedy than deep. Main character tries to express themselves in this poetry circle but finds that no one takes it as seriously as s/he does.

Beginning: Comedic and awkward

Conflict: Main character starts to spiral downwards, attacking their friends and family to the point of loss.

Ending theme: While the main character find themselves feeling very alone, a new person shows up and makes them feel less so. Or, alternative ending, no happy ending.

SCENE I

POETRY WOMAN: Welcome back. It’s so good to have all of you here to share our deepest thoughts and feelings through the beautiful art of poetry. Who would like to go first today?

ERIN: I will, poetry lady!

POETRY WOMAN: Thank you Erin. And my name is-

ERIN: Mister guitar man!

(Woman with a guitar enters. She is wearing somewhat manly clothes, but still appears feminine. To further enhance this picture, it’s me.)

(ERIN takes a deep breath, but isn’t nervous. She is in her element. She loves being the center of attention)

(Dramatically)

Am (slow)

ERIN: I miss her everyday

Dm

It feels like I lost her yesterday

Am

We were so alike

Dm

She taught me how to ride my bike

Am

I knew the day was coming

Dm

But that didn’t stop me from running

Am---

Why would she do this to me?

Who will I be?

...

Without her money?

||:  A power chords, fast 8th notes

I assure you, my mother is fine

C  B :||

But only if she buys me Calvin Klein

Oh we’ll be amigas

Once she gets me Adidas

I won’t leave her alone

Until I get another iPhone

Cut me off again

And that will be the end

| A B Bb|

Of you and me

Barbara Bailey.

|A| hit

(The POETS respond strongly. ERIN bows and dramatically takes the snaps in, then returns to their spot with their best friend, ALEX)

ALEX: So good. So relatable. I’m so impressed. How could I ever follow that?

POETRY WOMAN: Alex, why don’t you try?

ALEX: Okay, Poetry Lady!...

POETRY WOMAN: (attempting to interject) My name is-

ALEX: ..Here I go! Give me something jazzy, guitar man.

G F Bb C

It’s hard to be me

Pretty as the sea

It’s hard to be me

Cool as frosted icing

It’s hard to be me

All the boys can be, and here’s the T

Petty wannabe thirty year old draftee

Carefree crappy snotty kinda peewee

Set free trustee issues with his mommy

It’s hard to be me

It’s so hard to be me

Daddy sat by a tree and forgot the Apple ID

Mommy thought she loved me... b

Daddy can’t remember he’s a spelling bee

Where is my sunday spending spree

If I’ve got no Apple ID

It’s hard to be me

It’s so hard to be me

Green T, Black T, Real T

You know I love it iced please

Cold and raw no sugar, b.

I’ll certainly be your honey

Your BFF for live-y, wifey!

Love you honey baby sweet pea!

Unless you disobey me

Then I’ll end your life...y

*giggle*

It’s my responsibility

G A C D

It’s hard to be me

It’s so hard to be me

It’s hard to be me

It’s so hard to be meeeeeeeeee.... (trails of out of tune)

(Very few snaps)

ALEX: Thank you! Thank you so much!

(JESSE enters uncomfortable and late. They have never been here before. JESSE is not familiar with this place or these types of places)

JESSE: Uh, hi. I’m Jesse. I’m sorry I’m late.

POETRY WOMAN: Ooh! A newcomer! How exciting! Are you here to share your deepest thoughts and feelings through the beautiful art of poetry?

JESSE: I guess?

POETRY WOMAN: (so frickin’ excited) Ooh how exciting! Please share! Give Jesse some encouragement!

(POETS snap halfheartedly. JESSE approaches and takes a few deep breaths, clearly nervous)

JESSE: I’ve never done this before, so just go easy on me.

(JESSE takes another deep breath and begins)

JESSE: It poured outside this morning.

(rain sounds)

Hundreds of heavy droplets pounded on the roof

Begging and screaming

They demanded access into my home

Battering and rapidly beating

They overwhelmed the house with sound.

I turned up the radio to drown out the noise.

(JESSE’S THEME fades in)

The wind threw tears at my window

Thankfully, it was tightly sealed.

Someone had recently slammed the window shut

So forcefully

Only a knife acting as a crowbar could attempt it open again.

Someone so carelessly whipped the window shut

It was shattered on the edge

Oh,

And the window was locked.

I am not strong enough to open the window.

If I push too hard

It might shatter

And all the rain will flood my home.

It will be washed away

With me too

Nothing will be left.

There’s a chance of rain tomorrow and I’ve locked myself inside.

(The POETS but seem a little offset)

(JESSE returns to their seat)

POETRY WOMAN: Thank you, Jesse. That was...something. Anyone else before we wrap up today’s session on sharing our deepest thoughts and feelings through the beautif-

RYAN: I have one.

POETRY WOMAN: Oh okay.

RYAN: (solemnly)

Breakfast

Lunch

Dinner

Winner

Fruit

Vegetable

Boozer

Loser

I am faced by these choices

By these voices

What will I eat today?

They fight over me

Not for my company

But for room in my tummy

They beg

“I donut know what I’d do without you”

“We would make a great pear”

“Please, don’t go bacon my heart”

They fight

“It takes two to mango”

“You butter back off”

“Hey man- that’s nacho cheese”

(very emotional) That’s nacho cheese…

Leave me in peace.

To eat as I please.

(POETS love it. So many snaps)

POETRY LADY (crying): Wow. Ryan. The feelings. The thoughts. I’m speechless.

RYAN: Thanks, lady.

POETRY LADY: Okay seriously- does anyone here know my na-

JESSE: (Interrupting and stepping into center) What is going on? I thought this was a poetry thing for us to share and talk about our struggles.

POETRY LADY: Deepest thoughts and feelings, yes.

JESSE: But.. all of you are fine?

ERIN: (Stepping into center) Excuse you! We are very sad people. You’re the one faking!

JESSE: What?

ERIN: You heard me! You don’t belong here! You’re not depressed!

(POETS mumble and nod heads in support of ERIN)

JESSE (so confused): I-

I guess I’ll just go. I’m sorry I intruded.

(Lights down)