Laughing At The Dark | Teen Ink

Laughing At The Dark

March 16, 2009
By EmilyPaige PLATINUM, Morris Plains, New Jersey
EmilyPaige PLATINUM, Morris Plains, New Jersey
20 articles 2 photos 8 comments

I felt alone and cold; the darkness surrounded me and took over the rusted, abandoned playground. I felt little in the ever expanding expanse of dark. The darkness seemed to scream out and echo angainst the emptiness.

I heard someone sit on the ancient swing next to mine and their voice cut through the darkness, "You shouldn't be alone in such a dark place."

The voice was deep and belonged to a male- judging by the sound a young one. It was comforting, but seemed feirce at the same time. His voice sounded like a memory that stayed in the dark and came out only go back just before I remembered.
I didn't look at him, "One could say the same to you."

He chuckled, "I welcome the dark."
I looked at him this time, "You surrendered to the darkness?"
I couldn't see his face, but seeing his outline was enough. He shook his head, "No. I welcome the darkness."
I looked straight ahead, "oh. People react differently to the dark."
He agreed,"Some people fear it. Some people ignore it. Other people surrender to it. It takes a special person to welcome it. Are you special?"
I shook my head, "No. I'm not special. I'm different. I walk into the darkness, turn on a flashlight, and laugh as it tries to escape me. But it can't. Because the darkness is apart of me."
He stood up and turned to me, "That's... Interesting."

I cocked an eyebrow, "How so?"
He started to walk away, but he answered anyway, "I am darkness. I am YOUR darkness."
Suddenly he was gone. His voice echoed in my head, "I am darkness. I am YOUR darkness." Why?



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This article has 3 comments.


Skydragon222 said...
on Aug. 21 2010 at 7:57 pm
I like this one, but I don't agree with making it just a little blurb, I definitely think it has potential to be a full on novel.  It just seems like you have a lot of great ideas here that don't really pan out in such a short space.

amyxu said...
on Sep. 24 2009 at 9:43 pm
Hey this is a good vignette. A few suggestions. The phrase "only go back just before I remembered" is very confusing. I'd suggest rewording it a bit. Also, at the very end of the piece, I think it would add more strength to your ending if you deleted the "his voice echoed in my head, 'I am darkness. I am YOUR darkness.' Why" section. That way, the story would end on the beat, "suddenly he was gone." This would leave the reader in suspense. Reminding the reader of his words is really unnecessary because we've just read them a few sentences ago. Anyway, I enjoyed this piece and I hope this paragraph isn't too dauntingly long. Keep writing! :)

on Jul. 31 2009 at 8:38 pm
Stephenmcreynolds BRONZE, Ottawa, Other
1 article 0 photos 16 comments
Profound in a way, just make it longer, and make the ending thin out a little bit. It is a little bit interesting though.