June 1: Finally, summer vacation has arrived! After a devastatingly long year of homework and exams, I’m ready to spend every day for the next two months lying in the sand like a beached whale. I walk out to get the mail, a melting Popsicle in one hand, in hope of receiving a tacky gossip magazine to read in the sun. Wait… is that a Christmas catalogue in my mailbox?

July 4: The holiday season is officially in full swing! My friends and I unpack our lawn chairs and settle down in front of the fireworks just in time for the show to begin. To our delight, they shower the sky in bursts of red and green, all expertly choreographed to the patriotic tune of “Jingle Bell Rock”. Instead of hanging a flag in front of my house, I just put up a banner of Santa Claus, which is a million times better. Merry Fourth of July, everyone!

Aug. 15: Balancing the stress of the first day of school and Christmas is next to impossible. Whose idea was it to put them so close together?! I’ve barely had enough time to even start my Christmas shopping, let alone complete my homework. I’m so thankful that they moved the Black Friday sale up to this month, though. If it was any later, I don’t know if I’d have enough time to get everything done. I have to drink at least two peppermint hot chocolates a day to balance the stress as it is.

Sept. 1: I’ve been going to the mall every day this week, and I still haven’t finished shopping! After doing A TON of research, I’ve found deals at up to 75 percent off! And the mall is absolutely glorious, especially now that they started decorating earlier. I think it is the most beautiful thing that I have ever seen. The ceilings are draped in thick red velvet and the giant wreaths that adorn either side of the mall are truly magnificent. Their gaudy, glittery ornaments truly capture the meaning of Christmas. I think that the only thing that would make it true perfection was if it wasn’t 90 degrees outside, but that’s not marketing’s fault. Whoever decided to put Christmas so close to summer is to blame.

Oct. 30: The ads on T.V. both make me aggressively jolly and incredibly anxious, because I always find myself worrying that I won’t have enough time left to buy everything that needs to be bought. However, they also make me want to deck out every inch of my house in high-wattage Christmas lights and garland. Which I have done. I even heard one neighbor describe it as a “2,700 square foot LED light bulb”, which made me so incredibly happy that I added more decorations to my front yard. Now I have a total of 22 Santas, 43 reindeer, 30 penguins, 14 polar bears, and an assortment of other seasonal staples. I was so caught up in decorations that I almost forgot about Halloween tomorrow! Thank goodness I have a few spare Santa costumes lying around.

Dec. 1: Hark; are those angels singing? No, it’s even better: Christmas songs!!! I’m absolutely addicted to them. If I don’t have “Jingle Bells” or “Here Comes Santa Claus” running constantly through my head, then life isn’t worth living. Luckily for me, they play on every radio station and in every store in every city in the United States! I especially love playing them while I decorate the tree; well, re-decorate, in my case. I love hanging up ornaments so much that I’ve done it four times already. It needs to be perfect, because if my tree doesn’t look good, then Christmas would be ruined.

Dec. 25: IT’S HERE IT’S HERE IT’S FINALLY HERE!!!!! Oh my goodness, I can’t handle the excitement. I think I’m going to faint. I run into the living room the moment I wake up and tear the wrapping paper off of my presents. I got some pretty amazing stuff: a laptop, a Kindle, ten new shirts, two new cell phones, and a bunch of other stuff that I don’t need but had fun opening. There’s nothing really to do after opening my presents besides eat a lot of sugary food and look at my new stuff. That and wish that it had snowed today, which it never does. I’ll just have to wait until next year for snow.

Dec. 26: I threw the tree out after dinner last night. The streets are lined with trashcans full of wrapping paper, and I’m taking down all of the decorations. I start crying when I hear Christmas songs coming form my neighbor’s house, because they just remind me that I have to wait 364 more days until next Christmas. It’s so sad that Christmas lasts for only one day a year.