Cast of Characters
TAYLOR, sophomore student
MRS. IRWIN, Taylors teacher
JAMES, conspiracy theorist
OLIVIA, goodie-two-shoes
STANLEY, psycho maniac
MICHAEL, troublemaker
HOLLY, student
MR. HEMMINGS, school principal

Setting
Mrs. Irwin’s classroom
Main office
Mr. Hemmings office

Time
Present day

(At rise: MRS. IRWIN lecturing to her students. All students taking notes. MRS. IRWIN gets a phone call asking for TAYLOR to go to MR. HEMMINGS office immediately)

MRS. IRWIN. Taylor, you need to go to Mr. Hemmings office right now.

(Several students start “ooh-ing”)

(Setting: Main office. Five other students are sitting and waiting as TAYLOR walks in)

JAMES. Here for Hemmings?

TAYLOR. Yeah..

JAMES. Welcome to the club.

TAYLOR. Everyone here for him too? Do you know why?

JAMES. I have a theory. Olivia over there, total goodie-two-shoes. She can’t possibly be in trouble, can she? No. Michael next to her? He’s in Hemmings office more than an actual classroom. It’s just the norm that he’s here. And Stanley in the corner? Complete psycho maniac. Total freak. I heard he used to catch birds and-

TAYLOR. I’m sorry, where are you getting at?

JAMES. We’re all completely different people and of different social statuses. I think we’re part of some type of government study. We’re the chosen ones!

TAYLOR. I’m starting to think you’re the freak here…

OLIVIA. Well, if you ask me, I think one of you pulled my name up to get out of getting in trouble. I’ve done absolutely nothing wrong and you’re all just a bunch of burnouts.

MICHAEL. Just shut up, Olivia. No one gave your name up. If anything, we’re all here for something completely dumb. Forgetting to push in chairs, leaving a wrapper on the lunch table, writing too loud. I’ve been here for it all.

STANLEY. I’m with James! I bet the government put up cameras everywhere! Watching our every move...getting us in trouble for throwing darts too loud or something. Sharpening your knives too forcefully, bleeding too much-

TAYLOR. What the-

MR. HEMMINGS. Holly, Stanley, step into my office, please.

(STANLEY and HOLLY exit towards MR. HEMMINGS office)

MICHAEL. All we do is wait, I guess.

OLIVIA. I wonder what’s going on in there...why did Hemmings take them both in?

MICHAEL. (mockingly) I bet you Holly was in cahoots with Stanley’s suspicious activities.

TAYLOR. I’m so nervous...this is just so weird.

(STANLEY and HOLLY exit MR. HEMMINGS office and exits the main office, expressionless, with a piece of paper in their hands)

JAMES. GOVERNMENT DOCUMENT. ALIENS. WE’RE ALL TEST SUBJECTS. I’M CALLING IT RIGHT NOW.

MR. HEMMINGS. Taylor, Michael, come on in.

(TAYLOR and MICHAEL enter MR. HEMMINGS office)

TAYLOR. We’re not in trouble, are we?

MICHAEL. Look, Mr. Hemmings, I didn’t do anything, I swear. It was all Olivia-
MR. HEMMINGS. You guys aren’t in trouble, you just never turned in your permission slips for the history field trip to the museum. Here’s another copy of the permission slip, turn it in by Wednesday. That’s all. Thanks.

(TAYLOR and MICHAEL exit MR. HEMMINGS office and walks into the main office. TAYLOR stops to talk to JAMES. MICHAEL exits main office)

TAYLOR. James! You were right! We’re test subjects! Better get ready. I hear aliens enjoy probing.

(TAYLOR exits the stage)