His hand squeezed mine tight, his lips tasted like sugar and tea. As he broke away, I slid my fingers to my lips and felt where his touch still lingered. He smiled at me, deep blue eyes shining in the pale moon light. And one thought ruined that beautiful moment I wish could’ve kept forever. It passed over my mind like a ghost of the past. And I whispered to him, my words seemed too loud in that painful silence, “I love you, but we can’t be together.” His smile disappeared, and his usual gloomy frown slid across his face and his pretty blue eyes clouded with the pain I knew so well.
“What? Did your dad say that?” His voice was weak, rasping over his scarred vocal cords, the voice I thought to be so sexy.
“No, it’s not my dad.”
He slid his hand up and down my arm, “Then why can’t we be together?”
I leaned into his chest and started to sob, tears gushing down my face, my makeup running. He held me close, strong arms wrapped around me, keeping me safe from the deadly voices of the world. I twisted my hands into his shirt, holding tight to the person who has kept me alive for all these years. I don’t know how to explain this to him, it wouldn’t make sense.
I whispered into his chest, “It’s” I sniffed. “It’s because of my dad’s business.”
“What? Are you moving?” He slid one hand to my face and lifted it up, looking into my eyes with fiery passion. “I’ll come with you.”
“No, they’re excluding us from the world. My dad’s being punished for trying to leave.” I explained solemnly.
He pulled me close again, running his hands through my hair. “I won’t let them take you away from me,” He said plainly. “I can’t lose you, ever.”
I pushed away, and turned around so I faced the stand of birch trees that lined the pond. The tears had stopped, but my heart didn’t stop aching. It hurt, so much that my hand flew to my chest and I clutched the fabric of my sweater. I couldn’t tell him the whole story; it would hurt him too much. Without wanting to my feet started moving, and I started to run. Ben called my name behind me, and I could hear him start to follow me, feet pounding the ground in a desperate attempt to catch me. I was losing a race against a boy who could run forever, but I kept going. He got closer, his breath coming out in huffs. I stopped, and turned, tears pouring down my face. He wrapped me in his embrace, pulling me closer and closer. We stood this way for too long. My heart started to thud against my chest, reminding me why I ran. It hurt so bad, my blood ran cold and I choked on the air as it hissed into my lungs. Ben held me at arm’s length, watching my face intently. He then whipped out his cell phone and dialed 911, a number he called many times before.
“Hello? Yes, I need help. I’m in the state park, next to Wadesville. My girlfriend is having a seizure. Mhm. Please hurry; I don’t know how long she’ll last. Yes. Yes. Okay. Okay I will goodbye.” His voice was calm, played out and relaxed. I was amazed. He pushed me back, and gently laid me on the ground. I couldn’t move, my body wasn’t responding. I blacked out, only able to hear the sounds of the forest and of the ambulance as it approached. I could hear Ben as he told the paramedics what had happened. They started talking to each other in huffs; quietly as if they thought I could hear them. I tried to talk, tried to move my mouth to tell them I was okay, but nothing happened. Nothing worked; I couldn’t even open my eyes. I listened intently as they shuffled around me, trying to catch every whispered word. I heard the doors open on the ambulance and mentally cringed as metal screamed over metal. All of a sudden I felt hands under my shoulders and back as they lifted me onto the stretcher. It felt like I wasn’t even there, like I was watching from someone else’s view. Only without seeing. The stretcher bounced over the ground, and scraped over the bumper of the ambulance once again, and slid into the back of the ambulance. I could hear Ben pleading with the paramedics, his gravelly voice growing louder with every plea. Then I felt the ambulance shift as the back filled with more than two bodies, and I felt Bens hand slide over mine as he passed.
Once we reached the hospital I felt needles and liquid flood into my veins, the softness of a hospital pillow under my head and a slight weight when they laid the blanket on my body. The nurses talked across me, whispering for certain medicines, most of which I didn’t know. I caught little parts or the conversation that followed. It was about the red head in the waiting room, how cute he was and why he was here. I wanted to scream at them, ‘He’s my BOYFRIEND! He’s here for ME!’ but all I could muster was moving my middle finger up to flip them both off. They didn’t understand. Instead they got ecstatic ay my quick recovery. One ran to get the doctor while the other one stayed and talked to me asking if I could move anything else. I moved my toes, my hands and eventually my eyes. I opened them and found myself in the tidy white space of an emergency room. I heard my heart rate beeping on that damned machine and it started to give me a headache. At last, I could move my mouth, but my tongue was dry and swollen.
“Waarr”, I mumbled, trying to say water. The nurse hurriedly obeyed and I watched as she filled a small cup with water and brought it to me. She slid a hand under my head and propped me up. I let out an accidental moan as the cool water slid down my aching throat. My tongue moistened and I slid it around my mouth a while, tracing my teeth. The doctor walked in followed by a tiny little blonde nurse, and he inspected me thoroughly.
When my vocal chords started to work, they allowed Ben to come in. The nurses looked at him for a long time, watching his slow pace as he glided to my bed.
“How are you?” Hearing his voice sent chills down my spine and I wanted to just reach up and hold on to him forever, he saved my life, he loved me, more than my parents ever showed me.
“I’m fine,” I mustered.
“You scared me so bad, I really thought I was gonna lose you.” His pretty blue eyes brimmed with tears. “I was really tempted to sock the paramedics in the face if they hadn’t let me in that ambulance.”
I laughed tiredly, enjoying every second he was standing there. I knew I couldn’t make him leave, he wouldn’t leave, ever. He would stay by my side forever. And I knew that. But I never want to hurt him. And I understand that it would hurt him the most if I said goodbye.
“Ben?” I asked.
“Yes, beautiful?” he responded gently.
“I feel like, well, like we need to get away. Away from my dad, away from my family. They don’t love me anyways.”
He leaned in close to me and whispered, “Anything for you beautiful, I would go to the ends of the earth for you.”
He kissed my cheek softly as he stood back up. While he stood, the nurses watched me with a semi-controlled rage. The doctor snagged his attention and they talked while the nurses attended to me.
The nurses worked roughly. Taking their sweet time to switch the needles in my arms, bruising the tender tissues. It didn’t hurt bad though, mostly because my arms were still numb. The tiny blonde one made sure I could feel my fingers by squeezing my hand as hard as she could.
“Hey!” I winced. “What the hell’s wrong with you?”
“Sorry,” She replied rudely. “Just making sure you could still feel your fingers.”
The doctor came back over and started to work, massaging my numb arms back to feeling. I flexed my fingers, then my arms, relishing the feeling of blood returning to my muscles.
“Well, darling,” The doctor began. “You didn’t black out as bad this time. You’re getting better. I’ll give you a prescription to ease your blood pressure down a little, then we’ll send you on your way!”
“Thank you, sir.” I replied.
Ben came over to the bed again, pulling one of the stiff, cloth chairs over as well. He looked at me, eyes showing nothing but pure love. He grabbed my hand and kissed it, then rubbed it in.
“Why’d you do that?”
“What?” He asked me.
“Kiss my hand then rub it?”
“Oh,” He looked at me teasingly. “That was to make sure it wouldn’t ever wash off.”
I laughed at him, wishing to get the prescription so we could leave already. A rhythm started to play in my head, soft, just a little in the background. I was reminded right then of our first date. When we sat in the back of his dads pickup, watching the stars as they flew by. He snuggled me close and whispered in my ear, “Did you wish on that star? I did.”
“I did, what did you wish for?”
He leaned even closer, close enough so his breath tickled my ear. “To be with you forever.”
I had blushed so hard, thinking of how lame my wish would seem compared to his. My wish could never compare to something as sweet as his. After all, I am just a young teenage girl hoping for the little things.
He looked at me hard, anticipation building between us. “Alex?” He whispered, “What did you wish for?”
I had turned to him, blocking out the rest of the world and I kissed him, long and sweet, wishing this moment would last. I never saw any fireworks or sparks, but I had smelled his cologne and my perfume wafting together in the air, I had tasted the little bit of chocolate on his lips, left over from the strawberries, I had felt his hand on the back of my head and the other arm pulling me closer. I had gotten so excited from that moment, and right then I knew he was the perfect one. How could I not?
I was jolted back to the present, the doctor’s deep baritone voice slicing through my imaginary world.
“You guys can leave now,” he was saying. “The paperwork’s all done and everything’s all summed up. We’ll get your stuff miss Alex, and you can be on your way.”
With that he left, and Ben was still sitting by my side waiting patiently as the doctor told us the news. As soon as he was out the door, Ben stood and started to pick up my scarce belongings that he brought. I saw it was a few blankets and a small bag of clothes, my favorite perfume barely noticeable through the mesh cloth of my sling-pack. I couldn’t help but smile, and he turned back to me, face twisted in confusion as he saw me smiling at him.
“What?” he asked, his voice a playful angry tone. “Do you have some type of problem miss?”

I looked at him, staring into his ocean blue eyes trying to make him break before I did. He furrowed his eyebrows and stared into my eyes with such intensity my heart ‘ku-thunked’ in my chest and I blinked hard and looked away.

“Ha!” he proclaimed in a low voice, and I knew I was in for some teasing. “You’re still not strong enough to win the staring contest. He started to laugh, the sound bouncing around the small room and emphasizing his rough smoker-voice. I started to laugh as well, my voice light and high compared to his, but still not smooth. We laughed hard until the doctor came in, and after I got dressed again we departed, walking across the small parking lot to his beat up old Chevy.

The red paint of his truck was barely visible under all the dirt and grime. I traced my hand along the bed, remembering the day we sat under the stars, still so vivid in my mind. I smiled, and then I looked over at Ben, and caught him staring back at me. He looked away, embarrassment flashing across his face.

“You got a problem, Mister?” I asked.

He laughed and looked back at me, “So what if I do?”

“Well if you do, keep it to yourself,” I smiled as I pulled the door to the little pickup open and slid myself onto the bench seat. I closed the door and listened to Ben as he gently put my stuff in the back, the noise muffled by the insulation. He was humming to himself, a song that I knew well. It was an old song, something that most people that look at me wouldn’t ever think I would listen to. ‘Que Sera Sera,’ or in English, ‘Whatever will be will be’ by Doris Day, it was one of the only songs I would listen to when I was little, and it still is.

He slid into the driver’s seat and pulled the door firmly shut. Before he stuck the keys in the ignition, he leaned over swiftly and pecked my cheek.

“Hey!” I said, surprised.

“What?” He grinned, his red hair falling in front of his face.

I giggled, and watched as he turned the keys and started the truck, the engine puttering to life. I sat there, leaning back in the seat, enjoying the stress free environment he had created. I watched the colors of the night sky blend with the pastel colors of the light of dawn, as we drove. After a few minutes went by, the truck slowed and we pulled in front of his house. It’s a big house, with two stories and many windows.

“Hey, you ready to go inside?” He asked.

“Yeah,” At the thought of spending the night at his house, a warm sensation fingered its way down my spine. It would be the first time.

I slid out of the seat and reached for my bag in the back.

“Hey, hey, hey!” Ben said, his voice slightly raised. “Don’t you touch that!”

I grabbed the thin cloth strings of my bag and held it close to me and grinned like a little kid stealing cookies. He jumped out of the truck on the other side and poised himself to run. I did the same, sliding my way towards the house.