“Kenji!” the coach yelled, “Kenji were you even listening??”

Kenji looked up confused and looked around as if he were wondering where he was.

“Never mind! Go out there and show ‘em whatch’er made of!”

Kenji nodded and pushed off towards the center of the ice rink, his eyes were aloof as he circled the ice. He’s spent years on the ice, skating is like walking to him. The crowd watched the 19-year-old Japanese boy circling the rink with an intensity that would make the judges uncomfortable themselves.

His transition towards the center of the rink seemed clumsy and distanced. His mind was elsewhere, but thank god for the years of training that allowed his feet to move without any thought.

The music begins
“Everyone stand up and give a round of applause to Kenji for his latest achievement. He has won 1st place at the regional figure skating competition in Hachinohe”
I look to my left and see my teacher glowing with pride as she clapped for me…she was the only one.
“Gay boy” one of the kids in my class muttered and the class began to snicker.
I took my seat without making eye contact with anyone else. I could feel the blood rushing to my face as I clenched my fists. All I could think about was that it was almost time to go, and that pretty soon I would be on my way to the skating rink.
*RING*
As I make my way down the hall, I make sure not to look anyone directly in the eye. I’ve gotten used to that. That feeling of shame and worthlessness. Sometimes I would get pity looks from the girls, which I would enjoy only long enough to realize that I was a loser. I walked down the stairs towards the exit and the next thing I knew I felt a strong arm and I was on the floor looking up at a sea of shame-filled glares. I look down feeling the pressure emitted solely by their steely looks. One of the boys grabbed the ice skating shoes that were hanging off my backpack and started tossing them around.
“Give them back!”
“Gay boys like you don’t belong here”
With a sinister grin he began to bang the skates on the concrete floor.
“No don't!”
But it was too late. The skates that my father had given me were ruined.

“Oh no!!! In his attempt to stick that double axel it looks like he fell and might have damaged his left skate!” The announcer explained. “That’ll cost him, but we’ll see what the judges have to say about that”
Kenji shook his head in an attempt to get his mind off the past and looked down to notice that his left skate was chipped. The show was over, he might as well have had a broken leg; that would have gotten him more media than his poor excuse of a performance that it’s already started to become.

The tempo sped up to an allegro
“Mamaaaaaa!! Papaaaaa!!!”
“Kenjiiii!!!!!”
I put all of my faith into one last attempt to grasp her hand; I could feel the tips of her fingers barely graze mine before she was swept away into the murky depths. The tsunami took most of our house with it as it swept through our entire town.

“Kenji just fell without warning!” The announcer exclaimed “It looks like that chipped skate is giving him some trouble! Can he get back up and get enough speed for his final jump? Is there any chance for redemption??”

Kenji lifted his head in disbelief. He got up and wiped the ice off his pants and continued skating even though there was no point in continuing anyway. His eyes were glassy with tears and his hands couldn’t keep still. The judges were still staring and the audience was only watching to make sure they wouldn’t miss his next fall. He could hear his heart beat in his ears. He couldn’t stop the onslaught of memories that seemed to come gushing out, as if the dam of his dismissed memories had finally broken.

The music began to crescendo
All I have left are the clothes on my back, the skates I managed to salvage from what was left of our house, and a locket necklace with a family picture that my father gave to me when I was little. The locket had some writing inside but I couldn’t really read all of it. To the left of the family picture it said “believe in ~~~~”. It doesn’t really matter what it had to say since they’re all gone now.
“Excuse me ma’am, but my house and family got swept away with the tsunami. Would it be okay if I spend the night here until I can find the shelter?”
“Oh my goodness! Thank god you’re okay! You can stay here as long as you like, what’s your name young man?”
“Kenji, Hazuki Kenji, I’m 16 years old, and thank you so much, god bless you”
“My name is Aiko, Takafumi Aiko, my husband is inside. Come in come in! It must be terribly cold outside!”
She wraps a towel around me and I warm up next to their fireplace as the husband, Katsuo Takafumi, asked me questions about the tsunami, my family, and what I’ve been doing. They’re nice people but my cheeks get hot as I lie and refrain from telling them that I’ve already found the shelter and that it’s not taking anyone else in; I’ve been jumping houses since the day of the tsunami. After supper I head straight to the guest room they’ve given to me and lay on their bed while holding my skates.
This is the 7th house that I’ve stayed at. It’s been 4 weeks since I’ve lost my family and I’ve only been able to continue living through the charity of random families.
I could feel my face flush red and a tear slide down my cheek.
*knock knock*
“Kenji? You alright in there” Katsuo asked while creaking open the door.
I quickly wiped my face and pulled the blanket over.
Katsuo walked over and sat on the bed.
“Whatcha got there?”
“Ice skates”
“Are ya pretty good??”
“Yeah”
The tension in the air was thick, it was as if no one was breathing, it was complete silence for a solid 5 minutes.
Katsuo put a hand on my shoulder and looked outside.
“Listen, I know you’ve been through a lot more than you say, I can see it in your eyes. Just know that you’re still here for a reason. You’ve gotten this far, keep going and follow your dream. You go out there and show everyone what you’re made of, we’ll be here at home cheering you on because we believe in you. Goodnight Kenji”
“Goodnight da… Mr. Takafumi”

They all say the same thing. Every family I’ve stayed with, everyone I’ve met.
“It looks like Kenji is revving up for his final jump!”
They all believe in me.
“He’s gaining some real speed here!”
So why can’t I…
“There he goes! Lift off! Look at that height! But that spin isn’t going to get him anywhere! He’s going to land with an incomplete rotation!”
Why can’t I…
Why can’t I…
Kenji’s locket jumped out of his shirt in midair. Time seemed to freeze. Kenji opened his eyes to see the open locket and the picture of his family hovering in front of his face. His mom and dad were holding a little 8 year old Kenji with a medal around his neck. They looked so proud. As he spun the immense light in the stadium shone on the locket in a way that revealed what couldn’t be read before.
“Believe in ~~yourself~~”


Everyone believes in me, and here I am not even believing in myself. That’s right. I’ve got a job to do. I have to repay everyone who’s ever taken care of me. I owe my parents for all of the years they’ve believed in me even when I came home crying from school wanting to quit. I have a debt to pay off and a gold medal will do just fine. I can do this.

Kenji’s eyes focused and a determined look came to his face. He was still in the air and could make it. He tightened his body and his light spin turned into a tornado.
The crowd jumps up as if an electric shock ran through everyone’s seats and the announcer yells “Would you look at that! His quadruple axel jump turned into an unheard of 5 rotation axel with a slow start! That’s a world record!”
Kenji wasn’t finished there. Right after his perfect landing he jumps again and does a triple, then a double lutz.
The crowd couldn’t get any louder.

“It seems like Kenji is going off of his planned program and overtime as well! What. Is. Going. Onnn???”

Kenji’s smile seemed to touch his ears as he jumped to the cheering of the crowd instead of music now. Everything was perfect. The light in his eyes didn’t fade as he finally slid off the ice. He waited for the results on the bench with his coach. But it didn’t matter to him. He had the time of his life and made everyone proud, it was something no medal could ever do.

The announcer began:
“And the winner of this year’s Olympic figure skating competition is…”