The snow I just recently shoveled off of my driveway is white. I've never known why it’s white. When it falls from the sky, it looks blue but up close it looks white. What's up with that? It’s disobeying the laws of my world. I think that it’s insane. My science teacher says that it’s just the water cycle. But I can’t figure out how snow can possibly be white if the sky it falls from is blue. So I figured I’d write a story on this beautiful, glorious and wonderful snow-day explaining why that is the case.

In the very beginning of time there was an ancient and mysterious bartering bazaar. Here, the clouds bartered for things like lead-based paints and other horribly toxic things. The sun and moon gods, goddesses and/or transvestite beings of immense power (no judgment here) became very angry because the clouds were turning grey and leaking acid. The entities that were angry then destroyed the bizarre in an intense battle that was carried out by the sun and moon’s forces of mystical creatures like centaurs and dragons against the bazaar’s bizarre forces of radioactively altered creatures. After many days of fighting the sun and moon gods, goddesses, and/or transvestites were triumphant. They had no idea that the bazaar sold drugs to the clouds. In a desperate and mostly disturbing act the clouds all turned grey and died. The following rain lasted for months and created the ancient oceans. After many years, the sun and moon gods, goddesses and/or transvestite entities of great power soaked up most of the oceans with a gigantic kitchen sponge. However, they did not account for the intense cold that the sponge was exposed to when it exited the atmosphere. They ended up with a gigantic block of ice. They then used the cloud skeletons as an ice grater (ever wondered who invented the cheese grater? Our world as we know it, is founded upon it’s invention). The following storm resulted in an Ice Age.

A boy named Cole was caught outside of his wolf parent’s den and he froze to death. It was all very sad and at the funeral they chose not to eat his still beating heart, it was mostly just gross but the wolf pack did sense an air of importance in the act and so they left it their in the snow.

The boys lonely decrepit heart began eating through the earth. It explored the entire globe internally trying to find something as sad as it was. It ended up stuck inside the core of the earth and trapped only able to see outside of the Earth. For years it stayed there all alone until one day it found that the clouds, supposedly lifeless beings, were also sad about something. He never figured out that it was a drug crash but that doesn’t matter. The clouds also saw through the earth to it, but at this point because of chemical reactions that it went through on its journeys it had turned white. They spoke only once and then the two entities met in the sky. The heart was ripped to pieces by the drug starved clouds and once ingested the clouds had also ingested the boys original hopes, dreams and felt crushed that he had died. So in one great and wonderful act, the clouds let loose a snowy wonderland on the world that wasn’t cold, it was pleasant. Every time that it snows the clouds are remembering their own drug addicted past and express their guilt at not being able to get clean before killing the child.

The clouds are actually constantly snowing, its always winter time somewhere. The clouds are clean now, well most of them anyways, and that’s why their snow is white, only very few of them are still clearing out their systems. They make the yellow snow so for all of you drug addicts out there; the yellow snow is for you. Have a wonderfully snowy and white December.