Confrontation. You know the time will come when you need to confront those situations you don’t want to. And no, I don’t mean confronting your fear of petting that cute little Doberman that has rabies spewing out of its mouth, I mean people. Yes. If you know me I don’t do well with these creatures because to me there’s no point in associating with them unless I need something. I have no shame (to my mother’s dismay) and I honestly don’t worry about what people think of me (to my family’s names dismay). So to connect with you on a personal level I’ll bless your little soul with my first experience talking with a boy about rekindling a conversation that needed to happen . Granted it didn’t really need to happen but I just wanted an excuse to define the relationship.
I woke up one morning not at all feeling like P. Diddy, simply because I was having second thoughts of a boy I was talking to. His name is unnecessary just like all the make-up girls wear these days so please don’t get your hopes up…not that I care. So as I lay in my bed wondering and thinking about what happened the other night (no worries it isn’t one of those nights where it gets wild and crazy we simply just wrestled alligators and later on went and hunted yetis for dinner) I came to the idea that me and him needed to talk. At the moment I wasn’t sure about what but it needed to happen. This is how the rest of my day went:
I got dressed in my usual bum clothes and as I walked downstairs and towards the front door I checked my little tin can to see if mother left any change in there for me. As always she did because she believes I love her because of her money and for the record I don’t I love her because she’s the best mom ever. Anyways as she calls out her usual departure quote I lug my bags into my car which as always has no gas and head for school. On my drive there I realized I can no longer grip the steering wheel because of my palms which after a few seconds turned into a waterfall and a headache I received probably from actually forcing my brain to function. Knowing I needed to dry my hands I placed my second pairs of arms on the steering turned around and focused my thoughts on finding some tissues. I always wondered why I never won those safe driver contests at school. As I reached the school grounds I realized that nothing is to be worried about and to just get it over with, when in fact I actually realized I’d rather go fight a mother bear over who gets custody of her cubs . When I pulled into my usual three parking spots, I whipped out my phone and before anything, allowed it to smack me square in the face because let’s face it who couldn’t go a day without that happening. It’s the best. As I detached my phone from my face I began typing a Nobel Peace Prize worthy text but ended up deleting it because I don’t think that the Nobel Peace Prize committee and I are on the same page of what is appropriate. Im aggressive and proud. Not as aggressive as my mother on her first day of shark week but aggressive enough to take the last cookie from the cookie jar among preschoolers. So having me walk right up to this dude in the parking took all the aggression and probably borrowed some from my future offspring to tell him like it is.
“Hi.” I said with all the confidence I had.
“Hi.” He responded.
I then quickly shoved my dignity back down my throat before it decided to ditch me.

“What’s up.” I continued on.
And as you can assume this insecure, awkward teen was being a very good example of awkward although he did lack the insecurity. Truth is 100.03% of guys are clueless when talking to girls and I couldn’t blame him, so I happily carried the conversation.

He responded saying “Not much.”

I then responded, “So where do we go from here?”
He, of course, found his untied shoelace more interesting than my question and paid more attention to that for the next five years.

He finally answered, “I dunno.”
Not going to lie. It kind of hurt that after wrestling alligators and hunting yetis, that’s all he came up with. But then again I must have mercy on him for he is a boy.

“Okay, well I can’t really respond to that.” I said in a tone that I hope hurt him as much as seeing a newborn baby get vaccinated. Ouch.

He then proceeded to bless me with the response, “We should hang out again.”
I pondered about this for a moment and then realized we should but maybe instead of alligator wrestling we can skydive off Mount Everest and land in a pool full of vanilla and chocolate pudding. Of course he didn’t need to know that.

“Sure.” My final response and as I walked away I tried to hide the fact that at the moment I didn’t know where my brain or heart had went. I later found them in my locker hugging and crying with each other over how proud they were of me to talk to him. Granted that conversation wasn’t out of a fairytale but for me it was pretty close.
So just grab your little spheres of luck and confront that scary situation you try to avoid like the black plague. I mean the worst that can happen is you‘ll never find your heart or brain…or dignity…but take a chance, either way you’ve at least tried.