No, That Would Be Awkward | Teen Ink

No, That Would Be Awkward

May 15, 2008
By Anonymous

[Two girls sit on steps outside a movie theater casually having a conversation. Amethyst: Comical, unrealistic, and a little insane and Felix: realistic, voice of reason. Amethyst plays with rocks she found and Felix is finishing her soda.]


Amethyst
I really don’t know that I think about that movie. I really liked it, but it left some questions unanswered and it ended suddenly in an awkward place.

Felix
I know what you mean. The movie was about zombie like creatures taking over a city and all of a sudden the main character guy is talking about the absence of God and racism.
I don’t think I’d want to see it again. I liked the last movie we saw better. It made a lot more sense.

Amethyst
I don’t know. It made sense to me.
(Throws a rock.)
Hey, wait, is that what’s his face over there? You know that guy that’s been randomly talking to me lately?

Felix
Who? I don’t see him.

Amethyst
That guy that’s always going around jumping into random conversations, remember? He’s in the grey and orange jacket with the green belt. See right there next to the bushes.

Felix
I see him now. Yeah, that’s him.
He’s not wearing a green belt though. It’s more of an aqua blue color. I don’t know how you got green.

Amethyst
It’s similar to green. Can you see how I would think that?

Felix
Um, no? It’s clearly blue.

Amethyst
Oh no, he’s coming over here. Maybe we should leave.

Felix
No, I doubt he’ll talk to us. That would be so awkward. Do you know what his name is?

Amethyst
Yeah, it’s something like Roy or Josh. Maybe Craig.

Felix
Are you serious? Those names aren’t even close to being similar.

Amethyst
(whispering) Shhh…! He’s right there.

Felix
He’s not listening to us. Can’t you see that he’s looking at the movie times?

Amethyst
No, he’s definitely trying to hear what we’re saying. He always does that to everyone.

Felix
I wonder why he does that. Doesn’t he have any friends?

Amethyst
Well yeah he has friends. I see them together all the time. He just likes to be in the middle of conversations.
I just remembered his name, its Arnold.

Felix
Wow, I feel sorry for him. I can’t imagine having the name Arnold.

Amethyst
Hey, did I tell you about the dream I had last night? I was sitting in the middle of a field and there were potatoes everywhere.

Felix
Potatoes?

Amethyst
Yeah, and then all of a sudden I was flying around on a boat.

Arnold
(Appearing next to Felix and sitting down beside her.)
What are you guys talking about?!

Felix
(Confused) Amethyst was just telling me about her dream that she had last night.

Arnold
I was just standing a few feet away looking at movie times and I heard “flying in a boat” so I didn’t know what was going on.
Yeah, I had a dream once that I was a Piñata shaped like a slug. It was scary because people were trying to break me for my candy and I couldn’t move fast enough to get away.

(Amethyst and Felix glance at each other.)

Amethyst
Did they catch you?

Arnold
No, I woke up before that thank God.
Hey, (gesturing to Felix’s soda) are you going to finish that?

Felix
Yeah. (Grabbing the soda) I am actually. They have more inside if you want one.

Arnold
Cool. (Gets up and leaves.)

Felix
Oh that was so awkward. I can’t believe he asked me for my soda. I didn’t know what to say so I sent him inside.

Amethyst
Maybe he won’t come back?

Felix
Maybe. Hopefully.

Amethyst
Do you want to go to the mall or go fishing or something?

Felix
Fishing? Ok yeah, that sounds fine.

Arnold
I love fishing. (Takes a sip of Dr. Pepper)

Amethyst
(Turning around to find Arnold standing next to her)
No, wait, we can’t. No fishing licenses.

Felix
Then should we go to the mall?

Arnold
I love the mall.

Felix
Maybe not.

Amethyst
We could go swimming?

Arnold
Hey I know. One of my friends is having a party. We could go to that.

Felix
Really? Wait, why are you not there already?

Arnold
Because, it’s a birthday party for his sister.

Amethyst
I don’t think so. Felix and I are probably just going to go see another movie.

Arnold
Alright. I’ll see you guys around then.
(Arnold exists)
Felix
So what should we really do?

Amethyst
No idea.


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