Once upon a time, there lived a tall boy, who had sandy-blond hair and a well developed body. He wore a tattered, maroon colored shirt and stiff blue cloth pants, spotted with mud and other unknown substances from his harsh work at home. His name was Jack Hammer. His mother was always nagging on him about how poor they were, and why he could not move out since he was of age to do so. She was a mean woman whose face was hard from many years of hard labor; her dress was tattered and stained from work in the kitchen and in their small field, her name was Margaret Hammer. They did not own much, for her husband had died ten years ago in a pig-feeding accident. Both mother and son lived in a small cottage, paint faded with age and weather. A tiny barn was kept behind the house next to their small plot of land for crops that they ate. The barn looked as if it would fall down any second and they field was rough with small stones. In the barn they kept their chocolate cow named Bessie, it was old because they had it for many years now. Jack’s mother sent him off to go and trade Bessie for a little money in the market.

As Jack went along the yellow dust road, he came upon a funny looking man who was walking with a small group of purple furred sheep. “Hello sir, I like those sheep, will you trade them to me for this chocolate cow? She is old but still strong,” Jack asked. The old man looked over the cow, calculating how many sheep he would give him for it, “hmmm, she does look strong, and delicious…….I mean nice. I will give you five of my purple sheep for her,” the strange man said in a more feminine voice. They traded each other and Jack returned home proud of his families’ new fortune.

When Jack got back, he called out his mother, “Mother! Come and look what I have gained from our cow!” The Margaret rushed out of the house, holding the bottom of her dress so it would not trip her. She stopped and starred at the small herd of sheep, “Jack……what have you done to the sheep? What ever it was it will make us money, since purple is a valuable color.” Margaret smiled and hugged her son tightly. Jack walked the sheep out to a small field that was unused and left the sheep there. Nearby, a wolf was clutching his stomach in pain; he had not eaten in three days and was being tormented by a delicious smell. He used to live in the town next door, but was forced to move because he ate all the sheep there and was scared off by the boy who cried wolf! In a trance, he followed that smell and he ended up in the same field Jack had been in five minutes ago. The wolf’s eyes grew large in thanks and he ran toward the sheep and gobbled them all up, but not after shaving their fur off, it was not tasty at all.

Margaret and Jack came out to admire the sheep but stopped dead in their tracks. All the sheep were gone and the only thing left was a large pile of purple wool. Margaret was so furious she stomped very un-lady like out to the field and started kicking the fur around. She stomped back to Jack and sent him to bed without his dinner. Little did they know that the purple fur was no ordinary fur of sheep, it was magical, and Margaret had just stomped some into the ground.

The next day Jack woke up and went out to tend the field. After he was done, he went over to where the sheep once where and ran right smack into the middle of a gigantic, purple, Douglas fur tree. He looked up but could not see the top for it passed above the clouds. Jack ran back to the house as fast as he could, tripping on the way. As he got back to the house, he noticed that his mother was still sleeping, so he ran back out to the giant tree. People began to gather around and marvel the tree a few minutes later, so Jack had to push through the crowd. With the rope that hung from his belt and a small sack of cheese and bread, he began his slow ascent up the purple tree. Two hours later, he reached the top of the tree. He now stood on a white and fluffy ground from which no green plants grew. Jack finished surveying his surroundings and headed off toward something that appeared to be a building of some sort. He pondered who might live up here in the clouds, for surely they building would fall through.

Another half hour later, Jack reached a huge iron cast gate. He grasped the handle in his hands and began to push but was stopped by a grumbling noise. He turned around and to his amazement, a giant grey white mouse with red eyes stood behind him clutching a spear for support. The mouse opened its mouth to speak, “Wha’cha doin ‘ere, boy? Yer not s’post ta be ‘ere, ar ye?” Only just then did Jack notice the mouse holding a rum bottle which appeared to be rather empty. “My name is Jack, and I was trying to see how tall the purple tree was, when I reached the top I found this place, so I decided to explore. Might I ask your name,” he replied. The mouse was tipping over, but righted himself quickly to his rather drunk pose, “Me names Rock Bottoms, n’ I seem ta be ratha’ drunk ri’now,” he stopped to look in his rum bottle, “aye, tha twas me’ las’ one, oh, how I miss Cinderella’s comp’ny, no more does tha lass’ speak o’ me, tis’ a sad day fo’ me heart. Tha’ blasted prince stole tha lass from me.” Jack stared at Rock Bottoms with an open mouth, “Oh…. I can get some more for you from the building over there if you want.” Rock Bottoms grinned at him thankfully, “Thank ye’ boy, I’ll let’cha in now, I guess, ‘ere ye ar,” Rock Bottoms opened the giant cast iron gate to reveal a large clock tower made out of what seemed to smell like chocolate. “One las’ thing ‘for ye go, watch’out fer tha witch ‘n her husband…ye don’t be wan’n ta get caught neath’ his feet. Tha’d be a devastating thing it would be.” Jack could not say much due to the new information, “Thanks, I will be back soon.” So Jack started walking off to the tower.

When Jack reached the tower, he looked up at the door handle, it was 20 feet up, and how the heck am I going to reach that? Well I am rather hungry, I will eat my way threw it! So, Jack started his ravenous journey threw the front door. When he finally reached the other side, he was stuffed like a turkey on the kings dinner table. There was ticking and tocking all around the place, Jack looked up and seen the many doors, stairs, and…… a witch? She flew down the stairwell banister just like a child. “Hi there! How’d you like the purple sheep? Yes, you were right; the chocolate cow was pretty strong still, made good use of her.” Jack fell speechless for the second time; SHE was the trader he met on the road? “Oh um…they were good, but a wolf ate them, there was nothing but a pile of wool left. What did you do with Bessie?” Jack stood shifting from foot to foot waiting for an answer. The witch smiled and pulled him to the kitchen, there, Jack saw Bessie standing on her back two legs wearing an apron that said Moovelous food isn’t it? Bessie walked over to Jack and handed him a plate of…cheese? “Hey Jack! I am glad you traded me, I’ve got a good life now,” Bessie said after a good welcome moo. Jack could barley talk, “B-b-Bessie? You can TALK?” She smiled and nodded. Just then, the witch picked up Jack and said in a frantic voice, “Hide! Now! My husband is coming and wants to know where the rum and his gold coins are.” She stuffed him into the oven with a hunk of bread for him to eat. “FEE FI FO FUM! I SEEK SOME COINS AND RUM,” the giant boomed. The witch replied, “Ti Nee go sit down you cranky man,” she threw the bag of coins at him and some dumped out, one bouncing all the way into the oven. She then set two bottles of rum on the table next to his bag of coins. Jack stared at the gold coin in amazement, this thing was HUGE! It would be worth tons!

After the witch, and Bessie where gone and the giant drunk on only one of the bottles, he crawled out of the oven and scaled up to the table top. Jack snatched the bag of coins and jumped off the table with them. He sprinted all the way to the hole he made and dropped the bag outside, running back he grabbed his rope and climbed back up the table. Jack wrapped the rope around the bottle of rum and lowered it to the ground; he ran back and put that through the door as well. Sweet! Mom will be proud! Jack grabbed the bottle and coins and shot back the gate to Rock Bottoms. “Here you are Rock, got your rum. Bye!” Rock Bottoms grinned happily, “Thank ye boy, I ‘o ye one, com’ack soon why don’che.” Jack nodded and ran all the way to the tree and climbed down.

At the bottom, his mother was waiting for him, taping her foot with her hands folded across her chest. Jack dropped the large bag in front of her and opened it. Her mother stared in amazement, “Where did you get this? Where ever it was, go back and get more treasures.” Jack grumbled and scrambled back up the tree and ran all the back to the gate. He stopped at Rock Bottoms who was passed out on the ground with the bottle still in his hands. Jack rolled his eyes and ran back to the door and climbed inside. When he reached the table, the giant had fell asleep but put a chicken and harp on the table, but was asleep due to the music. Jack scurried back up the table and grabbed those also. He climbed down and ran back to the door with the hen and harp. Jack shoved the hen through the door and grabbed the harp, “Hey watch where you’re grabbing! I would like my arm back now,” Jack let go in surprise, “thanks now, my name is Bella, thank you for taking me I was getting tired of that giants ranting and raving. What is your name?” Jack sputtered out, “The names Jack, and we got to go, Ti Nee is coming!” Bella the harp screamed because the giant just spotted both of them. Jack put Bella the harp through the door and climbed threw. He grabbed both the treasures and ran to the gate. Rock Bottoms was awake, and somehow knew what was going on, “I reckon this’d be me place to ‘elp ye now, aye?” Jack shoved the hen into his hands and pushed him toward the tree, “Yah, you think!” The both scurried down the tree and set the things on the ground. “Mother where is my ax! I need it hurry!” Margaret fainted at the sight of the Rock Bottoms. Just then, the same wolf that ate the sheep came up behind him and noticed the giant climbing down the tree. “I’ll get it Rock Bottoms, help me, and chew the side of the stump now!” Rock went the opposite side of the tree and chewed threw it. “Good,” the wolf snarled suddenly, “I’m gunna huff and puff and blow that giant away!” The wolf filled his lungs with an amazing amount of air and blew at the bottom of the tree. A loud CRACK was herd all the sudden and the tree fell down, flinging the giant all the way towards the ocean. “Well now that’s all cleared up, the names Bob,” he said and bowed like a prince, “and that my friends, is how I blew the three little pigs houses down.” Everyone was shocked, except for Rock Bottoms who saw him do that before. Margaret had woken up and picked up a chocolate egg that the hen had laid, “well I know what to do with everything else except for the chicken. Jack pack your things we are moving,” she turned to Bob and Rock, “would you to like to live with us? I can see that you do not have homes.” They both nodded yes.

A month later, everyone was living happily in a mansion that Margaret had bought. The harp women was apparently a human before, cursed to sing forever. The curse was broken, and now Bella and Jack where happily on their way to marriage. Rock Bottoms had found his life again and sobered up; now he was wearing fine clothes like a king would wear. Bob had a place to stay now, and seemed to be attracted to Margaret. Everyone had a happy ending. Just like it should be.