Its been a while since i could stand on my own two feet again; its been a while since ive written a note since ive gotten all the great feed back from the last one. since school has started a lot of s*** has hit me homework grades staying awake in class all of this seems impossible as a teenager and it really is me being a teenager i know whats happening. having heart surgery really kicked me out of my school schedule. since school has started ive had rumors gotten hacked etc. for those of you out there depressed with your heads down lift them up theres always light at the end of the tunnel trust me on this. and dont listen to people who say you arent beautiful you all are beautiful in one way or another. for those of you with rumors going around find out who started it and take it to the counselor if you cant do this find someone to talk to anyone trust me itll make you feel better. and for those of you who have lived over seas all there lifes i know how you feel i dont know what its like to live in america and people are always talking about it and making fun of me for not knowing all these places. ive lived in places i consider way better than the usa ive lived in okinawa japan who ever gets a chance to live there i mean really and england people in the usa are always like oh i wanna go to england itll be so cool. and ive visited so many diffrent and foreign countries its been a wonderful exerience and im blessed with all of this. i may not be the brightest crayon in the box but im defintily got one huge heart and one huge shoulder for everyone if you ever need to talk im here for you even if i dont know you im here for you.i know it may seem like ive had a lot of girlfriends truthfully i have ive been trying to find someone who truely cares and wont cheat and lie to me. i know ive cheated its a fact but that was old me this is the knew and improved. i may not always be talkative im really quiet and to myself ive been hurt alot and its taken effect but as i was saying earlier always look up you can find sublime somewere trust me im trying to find it now. music. parents now a days hate our music because its screaming and not rhyming for those of you who listen to this they just dont understand dont let them get you down about this its you if they cant accept you for who you are they dont care and youve got to tell them straight up this is me get over it. you may wear dark clothing you may wear bright clothing but weve all got problems and we all put on that fake smile and all of you know what im talking about. the smile where your dying on the inside and cant do anything about it. i know your pain ive been there and i am there at times still. parents friends family can really bring you down at times and it sucks i know but what you make out of it is what counts if you just brush it off and smile and talk to someone you feel really good instead of holding up like a ribcage and exploding like a volcano thats the worst you can ever do because i know i hold up like a ribcage and explode. well this is it for now i may write more later tonight love all of you people