Dear journal,
It’s been a week since I have written anything so I guess I will start with Monday. on Monday morning I was walking through school it was as if I was the only one there I got my books and went to class. Then later on I sat by my self at lunch with not a single person near me. Its been this way ever since we had to move from Raleigh to Charlotte. I had so many friends in Raleigh and we would all hangout on friday nights go to football games or basketball depending on what season it was. I never ate lunch by myself and I never felt alone like I do at this new school. I still have my friends in Raleigh but all we do is text or chat on Facebook and the occasional video chat on Skype. I don't go out on friday nights I want to but since I came in the middle of the year everyone already has their cliques and no one is letting up and saying hello or asking if I even want to be their lab partner. I have never felt like an outsider.Most of my nights are spent sitting in my room or some room of my house texting my friends or looking at Facebook because I am not out with anyone and on friday all of my friends are going to be at the biggest football game of the year and I am missing out because my dad got a promotion to the charlotte office. Its three hours away I don't see why I couldn't of stayed in raleigh and he moved to charlotte during the week and take fridays off and stay thursday night to sunday so that I can finish my year and my high school and be with my friends.Monday night at dinner my mom asked if anyone had been nice to me or if i had met anyone at school and of course the answer was always no. So then she decided that she would tell me to get a job so that I can meet people in the area and have something to do other than just sit around the house. I told her I would give it a try and so she proceeded to tell me that since I said yes that I have a 10 am interview on saturday at the Food Lion right around the corner from the house. Little did I know that my mother wanted me out of the house so bad that she could do whatever she wanted to do oh so badly. Then tuesday rolls around and the same thing at school no one talks or sits next to me and probably doesn't even know i exists at that school. My best friend Beth calls me tuesday night to tell me all about how its homecoming week and that they are planning all these events and pep rallies and that Jake finally asked her to the dance and how she wishes I was there. I started to get the feeling that I was getting replaced or that she didn't seem to care about our friendship as much as she used to and that really began to bother me a little because I relied on her so much for practically everything I wanted to know about what was going on in Raleigh she would tell me but now she practically has a boyfriend and all the stuff for homecoming week by the time wednesday came around she didn't call at all wednesday and those were the days we skyped. I was beginning to to feel more and more alone and it was the worst feeling i have ever felt in my entire life. I finally called her and it was around 10:30pm or so we talked mainly about jake but I was just glad that we were able to talk but little did I know that she was also Skypeing with Jake at the same time so it was like he was more important than her best friend so once I figured it out I told her I was way too tired to talk anymore and said I had a test or something in the morning and I needed to get some sleep. Its now thursday morning and I have no idea what today will bring but I’m just hoping it will be better than yesterday. Mom made breakfast like she always did but this morning there was something different about breakfast. There were pancakes and waffles and Cinnamon buns and mom never made those unless she had some really good news. I was so hoping that she was going to tell me that since the school year is almost over that we would rent a place in raleigh. Of course that wasn't it and I was just sitting there waiting for her to finally tell me but we had to wait for dad like always. Finally dad came down and I was more than shocked and thought great as if things couldn't get any worse. Mom told my younger sister and I that we are going to be getting a baby sister or brother in nine months that she was pregnant with her 3rd child and that dad and her have been waiting to tell us but they didn’t want to tell us too soon.I then went on to school had the usual school day and came home frantically calling Beth but of course she wouldn't call so I left her a voice mail and sent her a text. Beth finally called me back thirty minutes later and she was of course excited but unlike me I wasn't. Its almost my senior year I have moved 3 hours away from all of my friends and now my parents are telling me they are having another kid. I don't think I have felt more pushed away in my life. senior year is supposed to be all about me and how I am growing up and now its going to be all about the baby. I sure hope that everyone remembers that i am graduating. Mom yelled up the stairs that dinner is finally ready and that we all need to come down and eat as a family. Dinner was quiet no one really talked mom and dad tried to have conversations with my little sister Ashely and I but no one kept up a good conversation. Finally mom asked what was wrong with everyone when we just got wonderful news that we are going to be adding another person to our wonderful family. I didn't want to say what i was thinking because i knew for sure with how crazy mom had been acting that she would either take it the wrong way and get angry or she would just start crying and no one wanted to see that. I politely asked to leave the dinner table so that i could go in my room and see if I could Skype with Beth or at least talk to her for a little advice even tough she thought having a new baby in the family was wonderful I still wanted to talk to my best friend who i got advice on everything from since we were in preschool. We talked for a little while she made me feel better about the whole baby situation. I finally fell asleep after a long and dragging day. Its now friday and well it was friday I wasn't all that excited about it but hey i wasn't really about being in charlotte any ways so nothing is really new. Mom and dad sent a text saying that they had some really good news to tell the family when they got home and we would talk about it over dinner. I get home from school mom is cooking and singing and just this happy person who I haven't seen in a long time. We all sit down to eat and mom starts talking and dad is so excited he just screams out its a boy! I honestly didn't know how to react because I didn't think we would know the sex of the baby so soon. This meant that the baby was taking priority over a lot of things. Mom and dad said that they are going to start baby shopping tomorrow morning and will be home late. I have my interview tomorrow so i was actually looking forward to it i am always up for meeting new people but the people around here i don't think felt the same. I went to bed and before I knew it I was up at 8 in the morning to get ready for my interview that I was hoping would go great so I could get out of pre baby world and baby world after he came. I left for my interview and I was a bit nervous so I just told my self everything would be fine. I walked in to the Food Lion and of course i didn't know who i needed to talk to so I go ask costumer service and they point me in the direction of the office and I soon begin my interview. It went wonderful and i got the job I was so happy for once something good happened to me while I was there and I rushed home to tell my parents and they hadn't left yet to get baby stuff. I told them i got the job but they were like okay honey thats great but we really have to go buy furniture for the babies room. Thats how my week went not the best and I still don’t feel like I belong but I have a job now that i thought my parents would be excited about but like I said its going to be all about the baby from now on. Well journal I guess ill just have to wait for next week to see what happens because you never know what might happen these days.