Again the dark room… why? Why does it seem the only place to hide? Or is there any chance to get out of this hell? To run somewhere, far enough, not to be seen by anyone else. My parents don’t care about me anymore so there will be no one to call the alarm and say that I am gone from home. It’s good ‘cause I don’t need police on my tail. OK… that is it I am running just today evening, after the school day is over. I must pack now and just go away not saying to anyone, even to him? Yes even to him. He will never understand what I felt… no matter now what was it is behind and only road ahead is left for me.
First class is English, and again she is making a fool out of me. But it does not matter now. My sister will she care if I am gone? Will she? I don’t know, probably not. They never cared much, they just hate me, all of them. I was really happy for her when she passed the exams in school, but when I did pass them she just said that the half is hers and that I did only half of the job. And every day we have this stupid fights and parents are saying that we must love each other. Cannot they understand that she does not care about me she just likes to show how poor she is, because I don’t LOVE her! I hate everyone! All are just the same trash! They all are phonies! ALL! ALL!
I WAS RIGHT WHEN I TRIED TO COMITE SUICIDE! I was, because life would be easier for them. It would be! Stupid Seraphim why did you stop me? Why? Why does something always stop me when I try to end up all this life which costs nothing… it has no reason and will never have any reason! Let this all finish! I have a chance to do it now to run and never come back never again…
Hooray! The school ended. Now I must run. Run. Down the avenue. Main street. I have about fifty dollars and that will be enough to reach some place and take first possible bus to west. One line. Two lines. I am afraid to step inside the bus. Why? I don’t know it’s just so. Something keep me here still and… oh, no! Seraphim again you! With your stupid ideas, that they won’t live without me!? They will, don’t worry they have my sister to care about… she is ideal she is just the best… none is like her and she is… she is … is … i…s… hhhhhh….. it is so painful when no one cares much about your feelings and when they believe to her more then to me…