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Longing
I’ve never seen such a beautiful, deep shade of purple as I had that day. I’d been walking on the beach, alone as usual. Staring out into the sea, hoping one day I’d get out of this place. The sun was setting out over the ocean, making the ocean turn shades of purple, green, pink, and blue. The purple caught my eyes, causing me to stutter to a stop. I’d toppled down onto the sand, in awe. My dress had fluttered around my legs as I fell.
My dress was the lightest purple, but in the sunlight it’d become a darker purple. This caused my skin to look paler and I knew anyone looking on would wonder if I was an illusion, sitting in the sand.
My thoughts scattered as I sat, mesmerized by the colors. I thought about all the things I’d done to try and make my way out of this small little town. I’d earned scholarships to colleges out of state, for grades that meant very little to me. Money was the issue on any college dream I’d had, even after the scholarships. I’d taken up dancing and excelled the teacher’s grace. I’d gotten bored easily, easy enough that I’d given up on going. Lately I’d considered getting in trouble, to get thrown out of town. But the ideas were worthless as soon as I thought them up.
Waiting for a simple chance was my only choice. Sitting amongst the chaos, I call my bed; I’d hope we’d move to a big town that meant a chance to shine. I’d have friends, money, and my talents would matter to people. People who thought being smart was a way to the heart.
I finally broke my glance away from the sea. I looked out onto the town I hated. People who sat in this boring town and smiled like an old man thinking back to his better days. I couldn’t smile, not at this town. I smiled at the thought of making a difference for the world. Smiled at the chance of being loved by people I didn’t know.
I looked down, as I sensed a small movement upon the sand. A crab slinked towards my hand, his little shell jostling his movements. I envied the little crab. I envied the easiness of his life and being content in his little shell home. Envied the way simple feelings couldn’t possibly affect him. People’s taunts couldn’t bother him, how he could never worry about money and education.
I laid out my hand, as the little crab climbed on, stopping in the palm of my hand. He sat down and bathed in the warmth of the setting sun. I lifted up to eye level and observed all the little details upon his shell. His shell was pearl smooth and with the reflecting purple color, his shell looked light purple instead of white. The simple little spiral to the top of his shell was the only textured surface upon the shell. His red claws and face stared up into mine, blankly. Uncaring of what was staring right back at him.
“Your lucky, little crab. To live a life of no cares and worries,” I whispered to him. He continued to just stare into my eyes, his little ears unable to comprehend our language. I sighed and placed my hand on the ground. He scurried out of my palm, heading to the safety of the sea.
I longed after him, as my eyes once again captured the beauty of the sea.
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