My Dream | Teen Ink

My Dream MAG

By Anonymous

     I say to you today, my friends, even though we face the difficulties of today and tomorrow, I still have a dream. It is the Coach Potato dream.

I have a dream that one day this nation will sit down and watch as much TV as possible and live up to the claim that all Americans are lazy and overweight.

I have a dream that one day in an armchair in Boston the sons of baseball players can ally themselves with the sons of cowboy-hicks in Texas in order to fight the Covenant hordes via the online video games of brotherhood.

I have a dream that one day even the State of New York, a state full of bustling pedestrians running everywhere, sweating from the heat of the sun, will be transformed into an oasis of air-conditioned moving carpets and tunnels lined with La-Z-Boys, eliminating the pain of walking.

I have a dream that my four friends on MySpace will one day live in a country where they are not judged by how slowly they run a mile, but by the content of their “Warcraft” characters and their ability to quote television commercials.

I have a dream today.

I have a dream that one day, over there in California, with its health food and fitness fanaticism, with its governor encouraging weightlifting and a healthy lifestyle, kids of all sizes will be able to clasp hands and appreciate together the wonderful fatty goodness of fast food and regular cola.

I have a dream today.

I have a dream that one day every exercise bike will remain a coat rack, the chip bag shall be endless, the couch comfortable again, the excess weight hidden by unnecessarily large T-shirts, and the glory of Late Night and Really Late Night television will shine into every living room way past bedtime, for all Americans to experience together.



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This article has 4 comments.


i love this !

cdaven said...
on Jan. 25 2009 at 12:28 am
wow sounds just like one of my friends something he would write. I like what you did with this good job

Ashleymabu said...
on Nov. 30 2008 at 10:26 pm
Wow...interesting take on Martin Luther King Jrs speech. I will admitt at the rate that the United States is becoming this dream could very well become a reality. But I hope for the sake of people that look good in skinny jeans that it doesn't. But I loved the idea...very funny. BRAVO!!

on Nov. 14 2008 at 11:08 pm
I feel like I've been stereotyped. xp I'm a skinny coach potato, but despite this I am willing to admit I like your dream.