As a parent you want to give your children good advice but sometimes you can get roasted by doing so. In one particular instance I was trying to explain to my eight year old son Jonathan, what the phrase ‘revenge is a dish best served cold’ means.

“It’s a saying,” I told him,”Sayings have  some double meanings to them.”

“So revenge is like a popsicle?” Jonathan asked.

“No, the saying means it is better to get back at someone when the time is right.”

He still looked confused so I tried again.

“It’s kind of like frozen Pizza.”

“PIZZA!” He cried.

“Ok, so when we buy pizza-”

“PIZZA!”

“Jonathan, listen, revenge is like cooking the Pizza when mom isn't home and eating it.” 

“When do you think mom will let us eat pizza?”

“When she discovers that being vegetarian is a waste of time.”

“I heard that!” said a voice from the kitchen,”No more grocery shopping for you!”

“But pizza,” Jonathan whined.

“I know, it is a cruel thing,” sympathizing with my son,” to be denied pizza.”

“Henry!” my wife called,” One more word about it and I swear-!”

“Alright,” I said apologetically, “I will reduce my meat enjoyment habits.”

A pot holder flew out of the kitchen and hit me in the face.

“Love you too,” I called.

After about fifteen minutes, my wife called us in for dinner. We both took our places at the table and my wife brought in the food. She placed a particularly heaped plate of veggies in front of me.

“Don’t worry,” she said,”They’re best served cold.”

I held up my hands in defeat.

“Well played, ma’am,” I said ,”well played.”

I ate my cold vegetables.