Uncle Frank’s Fast Vanilla Fudge

Uncle Frank’s Fast Vanilla Fudge is a family favorite in my household. Everyone comes running to the table for dessert whenever I make this recipe. It is not named Uncle Frank’s Fast Fudge because of how quick it is to make this recipe. That sounds just ridiculous! I named this recipe that because the ingredients are fast and you must be the same. Everything has to be precise. My family enjoys this recipe and so will yours. Good luck!

Ingredients:

2 cups of whole milk
2 teaspoons of vanilla extract
2 cups of granulated sugar
¼ cup of a Lamborghini engine shredded
⅔ cup of lightning

Instructions:

Pour the milk into a large saucepan
Mix in the vanilla extract.
Slowly pour in the granulated sugar while the heat is on exactly 348.452 degrees Fahrenheit. Any temperature higher will melt the sugar completely, making the fudgedge into a syrup. Continue slowly stirring until the mix begins to thicken.
Once thickened, slowly shred your Lamborghini engine into the saucepan. If you shred too much at a time, the mix will harden too fast, and you will have to start all over.
Continue stirring in saucepan for an extra 27 minutes after every ingredient is added. This guarantees the mix will from into fudge, and it gives you plenty of time to rethink your decision of ever deciding to try out this recipe in the first place.
Once you have finally made up your mind if you still want to continue on with this recipe, bring the saucepan outside. You must wait until a thunderstorm is passing through. If it is clear skies, you are unable to finish this recipe. Hold the saucepan up into the sky until lightning strikes the fudge mix. It is recommended you climb to the top of the highest tree and wear rubber gloves. Once lightning strikes the saucepan, you have 42 seconds to place the saucepan in your fridge before the fudge melts and is ruined.
Let fudge cool in fridge for 5 hours.
The fudge is ready to be served.

Randy’s Rocky Road Ice Cream

Randy’s Rocky Road Ice Cream is a cold favorite on the North Shore. Every ice cream parlor has tried to replicate my recipe, but all have failed so far. Finally, I am releasing this recipe for all to use! It has shown much success in my family and food competitions, and now you get to replicate that success in your kitchen. I hope you enjoy!

Ingredients:

½ cup of small marshmallows
¼ cup of whole walnuts
3 cups of cream
1 teaspoon of vanilla extract
¼ cup of chocolate syrup
2 tablespoons of fine sugar
¼ cup of fine dry sand
2 tablespoons of crushed asphalt
⅓ cup of stop signs
⅔ cup of speed limit signs

Instructions:

Mix together three cups of cream, chocolate syrup, and the vanilla extract in a large bowl.
Once evenly mixed, slowly pour in the walnuts, marshmallows and fine sugar. Be sure the mix is stirred so the contents are evenly distributed throughout.
Next, add in the crushed asphalt, stop sign, and the speed limit sign. Make sure the stop sign is sitting in the middle of the bowl; this is an important step for consumption of the desert.
Cover the mixing bowl with saran wrap, and place in the freezer for 6 hours.
After the mix freezes, sprinkle the sand on the top.
Now your dish is ready to be served!

Note: While you are eating this dessert, once you reach the stop sign, that is a sign that you should probably stop eating this dessert and go to the hospital.

Chocolate Lava Cake

This is a very popular recipe that comes straight from the gourmet restaurants around the New York area. Chocolate Lava Cake is a chocoholic favorite, and it is certainly a customer favorite as well. This recipe masters how a chocolate lava cake should be. Baking is a hard task to complete, but not with this dessert. It is simple, speedy, and sweet.

Ingredients:

½ stick of softened butter
1 teaspoon of vanilla extract
2 cups of flour
2 eggs
1 cup of whole milk
2 ½ cups of brown sugar
2 teaspoons of baking soda
2 cups of water
1 ½ cups of molten lava

Instructions:

Preheat the oven to at least 645 degrees. The temperature must be on at least 645 degrees otherwise the lava topping will melt the cake and spill all over the place. This has a high risk of melting your kitchen and possibly house as a whole.
Pour flour, butter, milk, eggs, flour, and water into a large mixing bowl. A whisk is the recommended utensils to mix ingredients together. Once flour is mixed thoroughly with the other ingredients, slowly add in the baking soda and vanilla extract .
Once everything is whisked together evenly, pour into a large greased baking pan.
Place carefully in the oven and let the mixture bake for 30 minutes.
Once fully baked and hopefully not burned from the extreme heat, take the cake out of the oven and pour the lava on the top immediately. Allowing for the cake to cool will have the lava melt through the cake, and you already know what happens from there.
If your kitchen is still somehow not melted down from the lava, congratulations. You are one of the few who can successfully create this recipe.Cut the cake into slices and serve accordingly.

Note: We are not responsible from any damages done to property or any legal charges for obtaining and transferring the molten lava.

Grandma’s Secret Cinnamon Pie

This is a secret family recipe that has been in mine for many generations. For years, nobody has been able to figure out the recipe for my grandma’s sweet pie until she finally gave me the recipe before she passed away. This has been served at dozens of Christmas Eve parties, Thanksgiving dinners, and Easter dinners. Now, I am sharing this family recipe to the whole world to try. Please give it a shot and let me know how it comes out!

Ingredients:

1 pie crust: premade or homemade
3 eggs
1 ½ teaspoons of vanilla extract
2 cups of cream cheese
1 ½ cups of brown sugar
½ cup of flour
4 teaspoons of ground cinnamon
2 cups of secret ingredient
½ teaspoon of powdered sugar

Instructions:

Preheat the oven to 325 degrees.
Carefully place the pie crust into a pie dish.
In a separate bowl, swiftly mix together the eggs, vanilla extract, cream cheese, brown sugar, flour, cinnamon, and the secret ingredient.
Once whisked into a light and fluffy pie filling, use a large spoon and scoop the filling into the pie crust.
Place in the oven once heated up, and bake for 45 minutes.
Take out of the oven and let cool for 10 to 15 minutes.
Once cooled, place in the fridge for 30 minutes to cool completely.
Sprinkle the powdered sugar on top, and it is ready to be served accordingly.

Note: My family is still trying to figure out what the secret recipe is to this day. If you or anyone you know discovers it, please notify my family what said secret recipe is.

Pay Attention Peanut Butter Cookies

This is a classic and easy recipe for any peanut butter lovers out there. It is a simple and typical recipe for peanut butter cookies. You may have seen a recipe similar to this one before, but if it is your first time, try it out because you will not regret it. Enjoy!

Ingredients:

1 teaspoon of baking soda
2 ¼ cups of flour
3 eggs
½ cup of white fine sugar
½ cup of brown sugar
¼ cup of whole milk

Instructions:

Preheat the oven to 325 degrees. Anything over or under this amount will burn the cookies. The peanut butter will also not cook enough, or burn as well.
In a large mixing bowl, whisk together the flour, milk, eggs, sugars, and baking soda.
Once the mix thickens, grease a large cookie sheet.
Roll the dough into small round 2 inch balls, and place them on the cookie sheet. Once the desired amount is on the cookie sheet, or all the mix is gone, place in the oven and bake for 15 minutes, or until browned.
Let the cookies cool down for 5 to 10 minutes before serving.

Note: This recipe makes 18 cookies using two inch dough balls. To make a larger quantity of cookies, double the recipe for a total of 36 cookies.

[Edit to original posted recipe] We forgot to add the peanut butter to the ingredients list and to the instructions. We are not very sorry for the inconvenience. You can either throw away these plain cookies and start again from the beginning, or you may enjoy boring and tasteless cookies. Once again we do not apologize for the inconvenience because you should’ve read the complete recipe before baking. You must add 2 cups of crunchy or smooth peanut butter into the large mixing bowl, and mix thoroughly. Once complete, the dough should be almost like concrete. Add in more milk until the mix is less thick. If you try to bake the mix without adding more milk, it will be too thick and the cookies will come out as hard as rocks. I hope you have fun trying this over and over again until you find a method that actually works. I have gotten horrible reviews for all of my recipes that I have posted in the past so this is revenge to all of those critics. I formally quit, and I will no longer be sharing anymore recipes.