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Insanity
The outdated pop music playing through the cheap gas station speakers, the, “Cha Ching!” of a cash register, and the nasally voice of the pubescent cashier filled the air. Daniel stood in the corner of the store, focusing carefully as he read lines off of a flimsy comic book that held the name “Insanity”. “Oh so this is where they pull you in to the story.”, he thought. It was at that moment that a couple walked on the sidewalk outside the window. He looked up from the book, stared, and sighed, while he thought about his own miserable life. Just then, his eyes shifted from the couple onto his own reflection, a short, and skinny boy with unkempt, scruffy hair and a cheap, ten-dollar tracksuit.
His thoughts were interrupted by the sound of the hanging bell above the door that echoed through the store, followed by the sound of laughter that belonged to a beautiful girl, with locks of golden hair, the fairest skin that Daniel had ever seen, and a one-thousand-watt smile. Of course, a girl like her wouldn’t be alone, and she definitely wasn’t. Shortly thereafter, a tall, handsome man that wore an unnecessary amount of cologne, waltzed in with his expensive, tailored suit, and a diamond encrusted watch. Daniel sighed again, and placed the comic back in the small slot from where it came.
He shuffled his feet toward the cashier, ramen noodles in hand and witnessed something that didn’t seem quite right to him. Two men wearing all black clothes and jackets paced right outside the store. Of course anyone would assume that these people were up to no good, however Daniel, being as the coward he was, didn’t say anything. As a matter of fact, he began to rationalize that perhaps they merely liked the color black and that jackets were a normal thing to wear in the summer if you were a shut in like Daniel.
The ringing of the bell that was attached to the upper corner of the doors echoed through the store, this time followed by very loud demands. “Everyone get down!” The man shouted intimidatingly. He pointed his large rifle up in the air, clearly visible for everyone to see. Daniel immediately got down on his hands and knees, practically gluing his face onto the cold, and dirt covered tile. The terrifying man stomped over to the cash register, where Daniel was, and stared down upon him. Of course Daniel didn’t know this because he had his eyes welded shut the entire time, only hearing the footsteps that teetered closer and closer. “Out of the way!” The man growled. Daniel immediately popped up with a terrified expression and replied with a pipsqueak of a voice, managing to say, “Please don’t hurt me”, Of course the tall, masked man ignored Daniel and a black boot went flying into Daniel’s chest, cracking loudly into his ribs. Daniel shrieked out in agonizing pain. “I don’t have time for this. Everyone here is going to put their wallets in a pile over here! One by one move it!”, the man yelled harshly while prying open the cash register.
Daniel couldn’t breathe, the air that once held a special place in his lungs was gone, and when he regained his ability to breathe, he backed up into a small rack that toppled over right onto the assailant. The rack collided with the thief’s thick skull making a loud thud sound. Daniel’s eyes widened with terror. He knew he messed up as the terrorist waved the gun in Daniel’s face. “Don’t mess with me!” The man furiously exclaimed, unaware of the accidental damage he would soon cause.
Daniel wanted to lift his hands to signal a white flag, but he was too weak. Instead he just flopped over onto the floor in a puddle of his own blood. He had been shot. It happened all rather fast considering the man merely miss-clicked. Daniel tried to say something, but he couldn’t. His mind raced as for things he wanted to say, wanted to do, and at that moment he knew that his life was over. He was going to die in a small little dirt hole that very much resembled his dull life. He couldn’t do anything, and he knew it. If only he could have a do over. Things faded to black, leaving nothing but the darkness, and Daniel’s thoughts.
All of a sudden, after what seemed to be about ten seconds, light flooded back into Daniel’s eyes, pulling him back into reality. Once again, he heard the familiar sound of the ringing bells echo throughout the store. He hazily looked up from the comic book to see a couple walking in. It was the same couple that he’d seen with absolute terror on their faces just minutes ago. He scratched his head wondering what was happening. He had a very strong feeling that he was forgetting something. “I guess anyone would feel like this after playing video games for over twenty-four hours.” He thought. Daniel proceeded to the checkout with his ramen noodles in hand, and noticed something rather odd. “Oh no!”, Daniel dropped to his knees and gripped his head with his hands, trying to piece together his thoughts.
That’s when the memories of his previous life came pouring in. Everyone in the store turned their attention toward Daniel who was groveling on the floor in fear. The cashier peered over the counter top, asking him if he was okay, but right at that moment, two men wearing all black busted in through the door. “Everyone get down!” he demanded once again. History was repeating itself, and as far as Daniel could tell, he was the only one that knew. Daniel stumbled frantically to the rear end of the store, avoiding the cash register where he previously lost his life. Daniel didn’t know what to think. He could have sworn all the pain was real. He lifted his shirt and searched for wounds, but there was none there. Once again, his habit of rationalizing kicked in as a way of protecting his mental state. His breathing slowed further and further, leading him into a state of assuredness and calmness “I get it now.” He stood up nonchalantly with his face smug, confident in his thoughts. “Sit back down! I have a gun you know!” Daniel began to laugh uncontrollably. “I can’t die, that’s not possible.” Daniel gritted his teeth and laughed the loudest, most insane laugh that anyone had ever seen. His expression soon faded to a blank nothing. He was going insane. Too many things happened way too fast. “This is one of those prank show things you see on TV isn’t it.” He laughed harder and harder. Other civilians in the store stared at Daniel, who acted like a possessed man with disbelief. “There’s no way I could actually-” He was interrupted immediately. He dropped onto the floor, and soon the sound converted to a very eerie ringing sound. The kind of sound that a gun being popped next to your ear makes.
He tried to say something, but nothing came out. His thoughts stirred and the consequence of his actions began to dawn on him. His face slowly changed from a grin to a very wide eyed, scared, and terrified face. It was quite evident now that this wasn’t as fake as he made it out to be. His stomach burned as hot as an oven. The heat quickly subsided and converted to a very sharp pain. Daniel scrunched up on the floor only managing to make a scream. He tried to make out words, but nothing came out. Daniel’s vision blurred slowly and the distant sound of his own screaming proceeded to distance itself. Once again, he fell into a world without color or sound.
The sound of the bell’s ringing echoed throughout the store. Daniel was standing, and unlike last time, he remembered everything right away. He took a step back, trying to gather his thoughts. The feeling of pain lingered eerily in a dark crevice of his mind. Daniel ran to the back of the store, pushing past the couple, knocking over things as he went. “Hey watch it.” Said the man that accompanied the beautiful girl. The girl’s boyfriend was interrupted by yet another ring of the familiar bells. Daniel ducked down, pulling the man and woman with him. “We’re all going to die.” Daniel whispered impatiently. He was tugging away from the man’s grip, but he held Daniel down with his hand covering his face so that Daniel would keep quiet.
The girl breathed heavily, and her heart-rate spiked just like the rest of the people in the store. At that moment, the man with the suit turned, and let go of Daniel as he calmed down, managing to get past the string urge to scream. “I have an idea.” He said confidently, pushing past Daniel to get to his girlfriend. Daniel was instructed to move to the back of a large wall that would eventually lead to the genius plan of knocking out the man. Daniel however was not on board. The suited man instructed Daniel to move just as they had planned, but deep down, Daniel was too afraid to move. So driven by fear, Daniel turned tail and ran to cover instead of tackling the man. The thief swung his bulky jacket and gun around and screamed out, “Don’t you move back there!”. Daniel froze up, thinking about what happened the last couple times. The girl began to move back, and the terrorist went ahead to scream, “Hey you!”, pointing at the girl. “Stop right there or I’ll shoot.” She pushed further into the back while her boyfriend rounded a rack.
A familiar scene played in Daniel’s head. In his last life, he knocked over the same rack. Daniel blurted out without thinking, yelling at the guy to back up with a loud “stop!”. Daniel immediately regretted his decision to speak. Once again, the man swung his gun around towards Daniel. This time firing upon his head in a panic, instantly killing Daniel.
Daniel soon found himself standing again in the same spot with the same people after a brief time with his thought which once again lead him to no solution. As a matter of fact, the last incident gave him even more of an incentive to run away from the whole situation, abandoning all of the people that would most likely be killed despite it going against proper morals, and that’s exactly what he did. The oh so familiar sound of the ringing bells echoed throughout Daniel’s mind, haunting him. Daniel held his ears, and pushed outside of the store, knocking over everything in his path. He pushed past the man, he pushed past the people, and he pushed past his own thoughts, abandoning reason. Bright lights fell on Daniel and a loud blast ripped through Daniel’s ears. It wasn’t the gunshots of a masked man’s rifle, but instead, the unexpected honking of a tall SUV. The driver hesitated, and finally decided to swerve to the left, but it was too late. Daniel’s leg crippled first, followed by his arms and ribs, and then finally his skull, dealing the final blow which left Daniel in a lifeless heap of blood, bones, and skin. Once again, Daniel was left with nothing except for his thoughts.
“I don’t want to die anymore. It’s hopeless.”, he thought. “There’s nothing I can do. No matter what I try, I just fail. I’m tired of watching people look down on me. I’m tired of people not acknowledging me!” His thoughts ran from point to point, not only addressing his current situation, but his life in general. Right at that moment, a single voice eased its way into his head, repeating the phrase in a familiar voice, “The definition of insanity is to repeat the same thing over and over again, and expect different resul-.”
Daniel’s eyes widened with realization. He was only failing at this situation, and in life as a result of his own perspective. He was cowardly, he was shameless. He was ignorant, and he was a nobody. He’d never tried to be anything different. Now all he had to do was adapt to it. The bells rang once again, filling the store with their beautiful sound, followed by a beautiful girl and a handsome man who smiled directly at Daniel. Daniel walked to the couple confidently and placed his hands on both of their shoulders. “What’re”, Daniel interrupted the man “Do you know what the definition of insanity is?” The man smiled back and responded with a very familiar voice. “The definition of insanity is to repeat the same thing over and over again, and expect different results.” The man smiled even cheesier than before and said, “My name is Daniel, and yours?” Daniel realized it, dropping his book out of shock. They were both different versions of Daniel. The beautiful girlfriend, the diamond watch, the expensive suit, and the awesome smelling cologne. That was what awaited Daniel in the future, and it was only possible through the struggles he faced. Daniel picked up the book by its back flap, which revealed something even more crazy. The back of the comic book named “Insanity” revealed the name of the author. Daniel.
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I was inspired to write this piece by my own experience with procrastination and diffuculties in life. The things that can cause you to waver and stray from the path that you chose to follow in the very beggining.