October 12, 2012
James
Try to imagine a place that is kind of bad and kind of good. You can only get a job at McDonalds’ or something like that. Where one person creates the chaos and confusion that person is James. And we are Kirk (Krispy Kreme) and Mike (Money maker). We are the police here in this town and our job is to stop James. He is a drug dealer who also steals bikes on the side. The worst part is he is better looking than Mike and I, so he gets all the girls and they love his dark, gloomy blue eyes. We have been after him for over two years. Here is a recording of a tip we received last week:
Last Week
Chuck: “Hello”
Kirk: “Hi”
Chuck: “Hi my name is Chuck and I live on Luck Street”
Kirk: “What can I do for you?”
Chuck: “I heard James is stealing bikes. Last night he tried to steal mine I fought him but lost. Come by my house for more information. Okay?”
Kirk: “Got it!”
Present Day

As we headed over to the tip we smelled barbeque that would taste great with some Montgomery inn barbeque sauce on it. Mike couldn’t stop saying how that would melt in a person’s mouth. That personally got me excited, and all I could see at that point was me in a dream arresting James. All I hear as I pull up the dusty dirt road is little rocks hitting my baby. I got out of my baby a Dark Green Ford 250 and slammed the door. Mike went up to Chuck’s house knocked on an old chipped white door. A man Chuck answered the door we told him why we were there and he confirmed it was him who called. He told us to come in and wipe our feet on the mat, and watch out for his evil cat. He said last night James took his bike, but didn’t give it up with out a fight. He said he heard James hangs out at a guy named Robby’s house. We thanked our new friend Chuck for all the help. As we jumped into the car I thought to myself how we were going to do this; then I got a plan. I told mike he needs to go around back as I knocked on the front door and search the house. He agreed that I was the smartest person ever mostly because my name was Kirk. As we drove over we turned on our favorite music Taylor Swift Our Song. We arrived and told Taylor swift would have to wait. I went to the door and Mike went around back. I could smell the tension as I walked up. Our plan was flawless. As I looked through the front window I saw our friend Chuck talking to Robby. I busted open the front door and yelled “Where is James?” They both replied we don’t know. I called for Mike and he questioned them as I searched the house it looks as though he escaped through a side window. I went back to Mike and the boys. They confessed that they both work for James. I knew it and raced to the car with Mike. We went back to the station and waited for another call. Then all of a sudden we got one it was from a rival of James and He said
“They will be at the Trap at 6:00 pm and you will go there and capture James.”
I agreed with confidence. Mike and I started to head over at 5:30 and we drove to the trap and we stalked the place from a distance. At 6:05 James arrived and we moved as usual James went to the back and I knocked heard no answer so went to the side of the house. Then James busted out of the front and left me in the dust as he jumped in the bed of a truck and drove away. I thought yup we lost him. Then looked over and saw a go-kart. And saw a fat black cat. At first it wouldn’t start and then it did. I pressed down on the gas and started to skid around corners. I was sweating as I gripped the wheel with white knuckles and I could feel the premium Italian leather on the wheel. but I caught up and shot the truck and it spun out of control. Just as that happened the gas pedal was stuck and I as well spun out and hit a phone pole. I landed by James and pointed my gun at James and said
“Freeze”
Then he tackled me and I pulled the trigger, but the firing pin or something broke when I flew through the air. I got up and started to wrestle him he broke my fingers and Tried to hit me with a flaming round house. We were wrestling for what seemed like hours. I would punch him in the face and then open a wound and sweat and saliva would fly everywhere. Then he hit me and blood, sweat and tears would fly. Mike came running in and asked me what he should do. Like I going to stop and give him precise directions. What does he expect me to do? I thought at this point in our friendship he could read my mind. Then he thought I will call the cops. Then I twisted like an alligator and broke his leg. The punched him in the chest. Then hit him in the face with my knife hand. I got up and Mike was there to cuff him. As we led him to the car a EMS truck came and tended to mine and his wounds.

The last thing I heard him say was “ This is not the last time you will see James I will find both of you” James and I laughed
We both yelled “ Yeah right”
Two months later
As James walked into the court room he gave an evil glare towards Mike and I and we both laughed. They opened up that James pleads not guilty. They said due to the fact that he was out of state for the past seven months he had no way of being put in the place and time of the drug bust. Mike and I both had to take the stand. We told the jury for the past two years James has been the most dangerous person in the county. We also said that his buddy Chuck gave us false information and lead us to the wrong place. They said that was another case so the matters of that case didn’t matter and none of that information could be used against James. We told him about the cocaine he had at his house. They gave us blank stares we asked why and later we found out that they tested it (only the stuff James had which was a small amount) and it was flour. So we had no information against him. Then we thought we had him when we talked about the stolen bikes. The defense attorney had gone out and received testimonies that we were receiving those calls since kids in the neighborhood had been prank calling us.

They came back with the sentencing and everything James was not guilty because we had no information to say other wise. We knew we were in trouble since James would come after us.
James ended up with a clean record and got out of Prison and was convicted of nothing.
“Oh Boy!”