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Ignorance
3:05. Finally it had been time to leave school. I couldn’t believe that 5th graders had to leave almost 30 minutes later than the rest of the school. I came out of the chilly room when I realized how hot it was outside. Good thing I could just sit in my car with the air conditiong. I sat in the 5th grade section, waiting to be picked up. I played around with my keychain for a couple of minutes then started to get somewhat angry. 10 minutes have passed, I’m in the hot sun, and my parents do not care to pick me up. After about 15-20 minutes, a group of kids (including me) are taken to the office where they start calling our parents one by one. Of course my mom didn’t pick up the phone. Then my dad was called and he explained that he was on his way. I didn’t think much of it until I finally got into the car and he was silent. He didn’t ask me how my day was or anything like that. I finally just said plainly, “What?” I suddenly was no longer angry because something was off. “[My mother] has been in a car accident.
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In my set piece I’m trying to build suspense - especially at the end, where I end the story at a cliffhanger. I also tried to add a description of the setting and the conditions that I was in. What I like about the piece is how it seems like a normal day until me (the character/main character) realizes something is wrong.