Thinking about the start to this portfolio, it's kind of difficult to find a way to begin. We are supposed to describe our process, but it's like trying to describe yourself to someone. Your mind draws a blank and you have no idea where to start.

I guess if I were going to start somewhere, it would be the purpose for my writing in the first place. I write to get rid of stress that I don't need. Everybody has an outlet for stress. Some ways are less productive than others. Fortunately, my way of stress relief is very productive and also very relaxing. I just sit down and let my thoughts take over the paper. Before I know it, I have multiple pages of words that I never knew I had in the back of my mind.

Something I feel strongly about is the easiest topic to write about. I am going to be honest, it was hard writing some of these papers. I really struggled writing about paintings, nature, or the things you told us to write about during our timed writings in class. It was like trying to solve a puzzle with no correct answer. In fact, my family and I all struggled to figure out what exactly you wanted within the essays. In the beginning I struggled the most and didn't do very well. Toward the end of the trimester, I had my family help me through the paper and figure out at least somewhat of what you wanted in the essays.

The memoir essay was by far the easiest essay to write. I reflected on the process I used throughout the writing of this essay. I started thinking about what I first wanted to write about. I could hear ideas buzzing through my head. I was thinking about writing about my relationship with my ex boyfriend, but I came to realize that recalling memories about that would be too painful to even think about. The memories still haunt me to this day. I decided to write about my history of concussions during the years I played hockey. Granted, I don't remember much about the last concussion that virtually ended my hockey career. My family helped me put the pieces together and it slowly came back to me. I could physically see myself in the hospital on those miserable nights. I can remember smelling the synthetic smell of the hospital and taste the medicine in the back of my throat.

The entire process of my writing starts with the gathering of my thoughts into the particular category about the topic I'm writing about. In this case, it would be the topic of concussions I endured during the few short years I was in hockey. In order to begin, I started thinking about all the memories I had from these incidents. I started with an outline in my head about how I was going to begin. After the outline is created, the first draft slowly made its way out of my head and onto the paper.

After the first draft is created, I leave it for a day or two. I give my brain time to rest and recollect any thoughts I might have missed in the first draft. Within that time, we meet with our writing groups. They help me to fix any grammatical errors I may have made. When I get home that night, my mom and I sit down and go through what I have in my first draft and start constructing the second draft. First, I begin to fix all the grammatical errors I may have made in the first draft that my writing group pointed out. My mother and I sit down and begin to go through the draft and start expanding on some of the ideas that I left unexplained. The thoughts on the second draft are now complete, just in time for the due date.

Throughout the period of my English class, we meet with our writing partners and start finalizing the thoughts we have. I think about how I can expand on anything and everything within the paper that I can throughout the course of the day. After I get home with my mom, again we sit down and go through the second draft. I incorporate all my similes and metaphors, along with the dialogue and use of a small paragraph for emphasis. I call my sister and make sure that she thinks the paper is good and has everything it should have. If I do, I finally have everything where it needs to be. I print out the final draft and the smell of the freshly printed paper gives me this sense of relief. The kind of relief that is only felt after a major task is fulfilled.
   

This portfolio is the final project for this semester of College English. It’s the last chance we have to either make or break our grades. I have put in a lot of work into this project. My mother and my sister have both put in many hours helping me and without them, I wouldn’t be passing this class. Throughout the course of this class, I came to realize I wasn’t as good of a writer as I had thought. I know that it has been a rough start of my senior year, but my papers have increased in quality as time went by. As I go through this portfolio, I compare the first writing to the last. The writing style I have aquired is by no means the same. The flow is a lot smoother in the last paper compared to the first. To this day, I still struggle with what you want exactly in these essays, but hopefully this will be sufficient. Enjoy!