They were like kids on a playground fighting over a toy. And I was the toy in the middle.

I had a fairly good childhood. I spent most of my time with my grandparents, from my mom’s side of the family, while my mom was finishing up nursing school and getting married to my stepdad. Since I basically lived with my grandparents, I had a very close bond with them, making them feel like a second pair of parents. It wasn’t until one day when I was in the eighth grade that my entire life changed. My grandparents never agreed with the way my parents went about raising me. For as long as I can remember, my grandparents, my mom and my stepdad always had their ups and downs with each other. But the problems were usually something they could work out and solve. Until one day they weren’t. 

I’ll never forget the words that made me feel like my world was crashing: “We think it’s best for you not to communicate with Nana and Papa anymore.” As soon as my mom said this, so many questions rushed through my head. As things progressed, it only got worse. At one point I found myself sitting in a courtroom, speaking to a judge on why I’d like to see my grandparents again. But that wasn't even the worst part; the feeling of being in between two groups of people that I loved, trying not to disappoint either side was. I was a kid and the only thing I understood was that I didn’t want to wait until I was 18 to see my grandparents again. 

After spending an excruciating year fighting in court, it was decided that I was to have visitation with my grandparents. There was nothing simple about this decision. This decision meant spending the first weekend of every month plus one week each month of summer with my grandparents. Many other unfair rules followed this decision, such as phone calls with my grandparents only allowed between the hours of 6:00-8:00 PM and of course not being able to spend holidays with my grandparents. Even after the court had made a decision, I still felt like both sides were playing with a toy and neither of the sides really wanted to have to share. Although, this experience has shaped me into who I am today. Things are certainly better as I continue to separately build and improve my relationship with both my grandparents and parents; but there will still always be times where I am put in the middle and have to make decisions regarding my family on my own. I have learned resilience among these years which has helped me find my purpose. I find myself being the peacekeeper between friends and family and am always looking for the motivation behind others’ actions which is why I would love to turn my experience into a psychology career. 

Now that I am 18, I am no longer a toy to fight over, but a human being that is finally able to make my own decisions. I made the decision to move in with my grandparents as an attempt to put this family feud to rest and because it is a place where I feel emotionally at peace. It will be hard to say bye to both my grandparents and parents as I head off to college, but I go with the confidence that I have the ability to make choices that are right for me.