I used to hate my mom. My mom and I are very similar and are always at each other's necks about things neither of us can control. We both got this trait from my grandma.

My grandmother has always promoted a healthy lifestyle to my brother and I, and always makes comments about our weight and the way we look. She would say to my mom, “You should get them on a diet.” These comments did not bother me when I was growing up, because I knew my family did not look at me the same way she did. It was when my mom started making these same comments that it started to get to me. 

I went to a low place in my life. I started to become obsessed with the way I looked; comparing myself to supermodels like Kendall Jenner thinking it was normal for a 15 year old to be 5’10 with a 24-inch waist. As much as I wanted to change everything in my life, I had zero motivation for it. I gained a lot of weight and became more and more upset with myself daily. 

My breaking point was when my mom told me she thought I needed to ‘lose a few pounds’. I was changing my clothes in my room and she had accidentally walked in at the wrong time and had a look of pity on her face. 

“What?” I said.

She looked me up and down, “Maybe you need to start personal training with dad, I think it would be really good for you.”

Taken back by this comment, it hurt that my own mother would say such a thing to my face. She tried to defend that I needed to hear it from her versus my peers. Everything she said turned into mumbles as I felt myself choking on tears. Within the next few weeks, everything was blurry. I couldn’t focus in school, eat, or do anything I liked without feeling this deep hatred towards the way I looked. 

One day, I went on a run just to prove to myself that I could be healthy and could do something good for my body. With every step, I would take a bigger breath. The first time I felt so defeated, I couldn’t even run the full way around the block. I tried again another day. Same outcome. I tried to go every day which turned into one week, one week turned into a month, and one month turned into every single day for the rest of the school year. I made it around the block, sometimes even going around a second time. I felt like I made it. The persistence I had made me feel strong. I finally started to realize that I needed to look the way I wanted, not the way everyone else wanted me to look. I ate whatever I wanted. I knew my weight didn’t matter as much as it did how I perceive myself. I spent some time alone, isolating myself from friends and my peers. I focused on myself and implemented everything I had worked for into a daily routine. My resilience to maintain this lifestyle brought out mental toughness I never knew I had. I came to the realization that I was so worried about being perceived by others, I did not think about myself. Going into chemical engineering, I am glad I had this realization now. This industry is not only competitive but sexist towards women in STEM. With this eye-opening experience, the situations that I may encounter with my coworkers won’t affect me. I now know my strength and perseverance. I could focus in school, eat and do everything I wanted without a thought about anyone but myself. Pushing my limits led to reaching my fullest potential.