“Believe in yourself. You are braver than you think, more talented than you know, and capable of more than you imagine.” ― Roy T. Bennett. Easier to say then do especially with a family like mine, My Mom is no exception, when I was eight she was arrested in front of me. I had come home early from school because I was swinging from the zipline trying to get to the other side of the line when my hands hit a wet spot and then black I woke up with a recess aid over me asking if I was ok. I got up and someone walked me to the office I was in and out next thing I remember is the EMT asking me if I wanted to go to the hospital, my mom answered for me “no I’m just going to take her home.” I don’t remember the ride home; when we got home my mom set up brought a movie for me. Then suddenly tv in to my room and the I hear a BANG BANG BANG on the door and I see my boyfriend run for their room. The next thing I hear screaming it was my mom telling people to get out of her house. Then I see one police officer heading to the back of the house towards my boyfriend. I got up to see what was happening and all I see is my mom on the couch and the other policemen with her. The police officer with my mom told me to go back to my room so I did, the next time I came out both my mom and her husband were in handcuffs. The police officer told me that I need to say goodbye to my mom and the next thing I know I’m in my nana’s car and they had driven off with my mom. For the longest time, I blamed myself, like I was the problem for some reason. It took me a long time to stop blaming myself and start holding her accountable for her actions, and the pain that she caused me.

The bravest thing I’ve ever done is stand up to my mom. At this point in my life my mom would contact me every six months, and I was done with the way she treated me so I told her how I really felt.  In a way it’s changed my whole view on life. I say this because she’s my mom the one person that is supposed to be there for you. I camouflaged my anger for her for a little more then ten years, taking it out on people around me. I built a wall around me that nobody could penetrate that wall.

            As life went on, I grew more and started to understand where I was and that maybe nothing that happened to me was my fault. And I started to let more people in, and my life changed, and I made some friends. My relationship with my mom was still complicated. I still blamed her for uprooting my life. My dad said something to me that I will never forget “You have to learn to except her for who she is, or you can her out of your life, because I can see that still kills you inside.” At the time I didn’t understand what he was saying; now I understand what he was saying he meant that I must except her, or I need to get her out of my life, because of the anger that I harbor is killing me from the inside out.