I'm in my head more than I am outside of it. As a young girl I had little interest in the world around me. My parents would agree. Even as a bouncy babe I stared off into space, reaching for lights. Which freaked out my mom who wasn't a fan of the supernatural.I babbled to no one and kept to myself, shy. I suppose now its not too different either. At the age of 8 I was obsessed with a book series called “warrior cats” by Erin Hunter. It featured 4 clans full of cats that fought and hunted for the sake of their clan members. I was overjoyed being obsessed with cats and tribal culture. I often zoned out in class literally in another realm of my own. One where I was born with four legs and fur instead of two legs and thumbs. I hunted with other cats and fought beside them like my own family. My parents were fine with these until I started to stay in my room more than I spent time with them. They would find me in my chambers with toys battling it out. They had no idea what to do but force me into the family room. I managed though, in my head. I was still running around through the neuron forests in my brain hunting mice and birds but I didn't become a problem till I saw myself hissing at folks. I tried to stop getting sucked up into books so much. I switched to the television screen for entertainment.
    It was a friday night and as usual I was watching the cartoon network program. Ben 10 was on one of my favorite shows at the time. This episode Ben Tennyson was battling it out with a boy named Kevin 11.  Kevin's power was absorption. And considering ben 10 had a watch that contained powerful energy this was quite a foe. But the life changing moment happened when kevin absorbed the watch. He became a monster, and I became mush. Somehow my brain had found this thing attractive. This big red Species quilt of a beast. After that I had conjured many scenarios of me and kevin seeing each other. So much so that sometimes I looked out the window hoping to see his silhouette staring back at me, to take me away from my parents who screamed too much and forced me to eat my greens. I was utterly disappointed each time.
    My brain became increasingly complex as puberty came. While the girl at school searched the schoolyard for cute boys I searched the woods for portals and dragon eggs. My parents one day asked me what was wrong with me. I told them, the forests full of cats. The sky's full of dragons and Ufos, the squirming leviathan under the seas. All of them poured out of my maw and swirled into My parents ears. They yelled at me, saying I cannot live in my head. That this was sick and could ruin me. That life isnt full of fairy tales, and I needed to get over it. I believed them. I felt stupid and childish, 10 years old and thinking about stupid baby things. How dare I !
    I still somewhat stayed in my mind, putting on a mask hiding my wandering eyes. My thoughts stayed bottled up in my brain, the only things coming out was what everyone else would approve of. If my thought got overwhelming I would write them on paper. The words bending and bleeding into a picture only seen by the reader. Until 5 years later in little old denton maryland I stood in the counselor's room choosing classes. I needed one more elective because Web Design had been taken out of the curriculum. The counselor listed my options.
“Creative writing”
“What?”
“We have creative writing, psychology-”
“ Creative writing?” I hadn't heard of this before
“Thats right,  would you like to do it?” I hesitated
“Yeah” and there I went. The first day in the class I was nervous, most of my classmates looked older and much more experienced than me. Until we had to write a short story for a grade. I immediately thought of the story I had written down at home that brewed in my head for years. This was my chance to share it finally. So I sat down and began typing. I shortened the original leaving the short story at a cliff hanger. Printed out I held it as if it was my own child. I handed it to my peers and got amazing feedback. But that wasn't enough, I needed the approval from my mom and dad. So I walked home nervous. Handed the packet to my mother. She loved it. And I was thrilled. But then my father read it, taking almost an hour due to my brother buzzing around as pesky siblings do. Then finally my father put the packet down and I was a smile crack his face.
“That was really good squirt” his voice rang with approval. Which rarely happened towards me. He then went on to say if this is what I really want to do then keep doing it . This puzzled me for a second, he said only years earlier that I can't live life through fairytales and books, but now he says go for it. This made me grin as well. Because I made him rethink his thoughts. And my father being a stubborn old man rarely changes his mind. We talked little and headed off to bed. While my family slept silently i dreamt of 5 years ago. My parents yelled as usual about my shared thoughts.
“You can't just live life that way. You can't make fantasy your source of income!” But this time i was filled with a burning sensation of pettiness and held back anger. I grinned wide and replied
“Just watch me”